Rigabold the pernicketness was travelling down the service road from the Port Augusta service centre, it was pitch black, only lit by the headlights of his Dodge and in the car beside him, the car with no headlights, he could see two lilly white arses. He didn’t recognise the two full moons themselves but it didn’t take a genius to know they belonged to the girls with the rude comments who seemed hell bent on being stuck in their “all men are shit pity party” that had seen them make rude comments to him only minutes before.
Using the inbuilt traffic camera system connected to the rear vision mirror Rigabold took a photograph of the girls mooning him, in doing so he made sure the flash was set for “super bright” so that it lit up the car and gave a good image of everything. His plan was to use the advanced GPS system to hack onto the registration database, get the details of the car’s owner and send them the picture, hoping maybe that the car did not belong to one of the girls. But what happened next changed all that.
The flash was obviously a surprise to the driver and instead of holding the car steady and driving on she veered to the right, across the road and into a power pole. It was lucky the accident was at low speed and the concrete pole absorbed the collision, but the car was still a wreck and steam hissed out of a punctured radiator.
Rigabold stopped immediately, took a photograph of the crashed car with two lilly white arses shrinking back inside the windows. When he saw all three girls getting out of the car unharmed, expect for their dented egos, he took off. Then as soon as he was on the highway instead of getting the girls registration details he anonymously sent the photos of the accident and what lead to the accident to every media outlet he could find with a Port Augusta address.
About fifteen kilometres from the service centre, and the stupid women who were too interested in shoving their bums out the window to concentrate on the road, Rigabold took a left hand turn on the Horricks Pass Road. Although the road was relatively flat and barely ten metres above sea level according to the GPS that was going to change very quickly.
Horricks Pass was a stretch of road less than five kilometres long but in that distance it rose to nearly five hundred metres above sea level, the road was windy and twisty as it made its way up and it was also relatively tight on some of the blind corners. It was made even tighter by the subset of drivers in the world who think their vehicles are wider than they really are and those who think that the person who passes the most vehicles gets a prize of some kind. The first subset were made even worse when they towed caravans and trailers where as the second subset were just impatient morons at all times. A road like Horricks Pass was the sort of road where neither subset should be allowed.
Ahead of him Rigabold could see the tail lights and running lights of a truck. If he’d have wanted to jump into the subset of moronic drivers he could easily have sped up and caught the truck before the windy road started, but he wasn’t interested in such a manoeuvre. Next thing Rigabold heard was the squawk of his CB radio. So advanced was the technology of his communication devices that they remained on quiet and on standby until the conversation was directed at the occupant of the vehicle. It had been quiet for so long the instant it came to life Rigabold nearly jumped in his seat.
“Got a copy east bound Horricks Pass?”
Rigabold’s CB radio was hands free so he didn’t need to pick up the microphone and push a button. “Copy mate.” Rigabold answered remembering his CB chatter from the books he’d read.
“I’m runnin’ a double refers fully loaded. Road’s clear far as I can see if you wan’ to go around ‘fore the Pass.”
Rigabold was able to work out the driver meant he was pulling two refrigerated trailers fully loaded, that put his weight somewhere around fifty tonnes. It was definitely going to be a slow drag up the Pass with that much load on the back of a truck. A quick decision was needed because he didn’t want to hold up the driver with a long decision then by the time he finally got around him there was something coming towards them or some other unforeseen issue.
He weighed things up quickly, The GPS told him he was one hundred and twenty two metres off the back of the truck, he was eleven hundred metres from the first big bend and he’d need to increase his speed to just over the speed limit to make the manoeuvre work. The GPS also told him there was no oncoming cars that would cause an issue, but Rigabold had already made up his mind.
“Copy that mate.” Rigabold said to the CB, “ Thanks for the offer but I’m in no rush. I’ll just hang back and keep your back door clear.” Rigabold hoped he was using the right lingo for the radio.
A moment later the same voice from seconds before filled the cabin of the Dodge. “Suit ya self buddy. It’s goin’ to be a slow haul but if you’re happy to be there.”
“I’m happy.” Rigabold said.
Truth was he was more than happy to follow the truck at a distance, especially after he saw the sign that warned drivers that the entire twisty and turny area had kangaroo activity. There was of course no guarantee that the kangaroos would only hit the truck, but Rigabold knew they were notoriously stupid pests and with some luck they would be scared off by the truck before he came along.
Rigabold allowed himself, and the truck driver, a buffer of about fifty metres between their vehicles and just relaxed into the slow drive up the pass, over the top and on to the next town.