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Outback Rescue: Wolf Whistles

Oh I don’t know what it’s like in other parts of the world, as you might remember I like my little world in the middle of outback nowhere and I don’t travel much, but in Australia for hundreds of years there has been a thing called a wolf whistle. If you haven’t heard of such thing it a whistle predominately done by males, and in this country it’s synonymous particularly with worksites although it does happen in other places, but work sites have that reputation. It’s a multi tone whistle in two parts done when a guy sees a cute woman walk past. Like I say not only done by men but they have the reputation.

In this country for years it’s been frowned upon by some women, they seem to get upset when they put in the effort to look nice and someone actually appreciates it. Okay each to their own but in this day and age it’s getting out of hand, we’ve even had women threaten legal action for a harmless wolf whistle.

Ok so as you can probably guess I’m not the sort of person who gets offended by a little wolf whistle, not that I hear them often. I also don’t dress to illicit such a response but if person feels the need a simple whistle is better and more classy than a “show us your tits” or “nice arse” and if it’s done in passing then really what’s the harm? Oh I can hear the feminists screaming and having conniptions as the head fem-genie tells them one of their own is not pulling the line, but honestly, screw them no female I know looses sleep because a man can wolf whistle…and yes I do know other females!

Anyway I say all that because it you remember Matthew and I had just gotten up from the table at the cafe in Broome where we had partaken in a num nums. Num nums of course being food, although in American it’s probably spelt nom noms since they spell things funny! As we got up we heard a wolf whistle from out on the esplanade.

Now had that wolf whistle not been accompanied by the words “Hey nice arse, how about shaking it for us?” it probably would have been ignored, or simply passed off for what it was and innocent comment of appreciation. But the addition of those few words meant there had to be some reaction.

I guess I could have reacted like the girls at the table three up from where we were. Their reaction was one of shock horror, they gasped and put their hands to their mouths then shot the vocalist some very dirty looks that I’m sure would have turned them to stone had they been looking back. However, and I’m not going to sugar coat it here, the girls could have been annoyed that the wolf whistles weren’t directed at them, after all they were made up to the nines. You know the sort, face make up put on with a trowel, bright, gaudy and over the top along with the perfume that was poured from a bucket not sprayed from a bottle. As well as that they had the high cut skirts covering very little and the perky little boobs trying to push out from a cut down t-shirt that was probably bought in the kids section of K-mart to get it small enough that their chests actually popped out.

Anyway even if they were jealous they didn’t get noticed before an outback chick dressed like she’d just walked off the set of Crocodile Dundee 6 too bad there was nothing any of us could do about that and they had chose their path. Just like Matthew and I chose ours .

So what happened next?

Well they got the arse shaking they requested, actually maybe it wasn’t quite what they expected.

Even after I realised the two men were looking in our direction after what they did I was planning to ignore them, like I’ve said it’s hardly worth getting on a high horse over, you’ll not change people by being a bitch. However Matthew had a different idea and it wasn’t going over to beat seven kinds of crap out of the men for being rude to his beloved sister. It was just as good though.

Once he was fully upright he stepped around the corner of the table we’d eaten at, turned his back to the men, bent over and placed his hands on the table and began to swing his hips. Left to right, up and down then in large exaggerated circles Matthew waved his arse at the men, I thought it was the funniest thing I had seen all day.

However the funniest thing was what came next, some might say it was predictable, some might say typical, but either way it was funny.

Both men on the esplanade, covered their eyes and pretended to gag. The gagging was then followed by the words. “We meant the chick dressed up like Steve Irwin you fucking gay freak!” They then turned and walked away like someone was chasing them with a red hot fire poker.

I was the first to laugh, Matthew followed, even the girls who may or may not have been jealous they didn’t get a wolf whistle were laughing. In fact the only two who weren’t laughing were the two men who thought it was funny to start the little charade in the first place, but you know how hard it is to laugh while you are crying.

See things really do have a way of turning out for the good and I guess you can see why I’m not the sort of girl to be offended at a little wolf whistle. By itself it’s harmless, even with a few less than articulate words it’s pretty harmless but sometimes the wordsmiths do get their own delivered back to them and when that happens it’s better than crying fowl and making a scene.

Previous Outback Rescue story here.


  1. This is the best chapter I’ve read in a long time! Hilarious! ♥️. Loved it.
    I love a wolf whistle. : )

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