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Outback Rescue: Feeding Time

Well, after the shenanigans that were Matthew parking the Beast straight on in front of the shed we did go inside and have some lunch. As I might have told you before I don’t keep a lot of food on hand at any given time, mainly just non perishable things like those that come in cans and things like crackers and biscuits that only go stale not go mouldy.

(Oh for those readers from America, and maybe other strange countries too, a biscuit, or bikky, is a snack food, it can come in sweet or savoury varieties and made from a flour base. I’ve heard some Americans call scones biscuits but that’s just weird, a scone is a scone and a scone is eaten with jam and cream. A biscuit is a Tim Tam, although I hear America doesn’t have those either, such a strange thing not growing up with Tim Tams, even stranger not growing up being able to do a Tim Tam Slam, maybe that explains why American’s are so weird. Oops did I get off track?)

Anyway, even Tim Tams with their chocolate coating last a long time in the fridge as does things like baked beans and meats like salami. While products like natural honey and Vegemite last forever in the pantry. (No I wont try to explain Vegemite, I’ve embarrassed enough foreigners with the biscuit description).

So what I’m trying to say is that while I wasn’t able to create a gourmet five course meal I was able to adequately feed both Matthew and myself with what was in the house. Do you want to know what we had? I promise I wont make it some local delicacy that people wont understand.

Hmmm, I think I’m getting a little off track today, maybe I should start again.

Matthew and I went inside for lunch after the Beast was parked. Because I’d had a visitor for a few days there was a little more in the pantry than I would usually keep so finding something to eat wasn’t really the issue, keeping interested and standing upright on tired legs while we made it was the issue. In the end we managed to prepare ourselves some baked beans, with the last of the cheese and eggs that Matthew had pick up when we were in town a few days earlier.

Sitting down while we ate wasn’t much easier than standing and by the time I was half way through lunch I was starting to wonder if I was going to make it through the afternoon without falling asleep. I knew I’d be alright if I found something to do, but finding something to do was the issue. I obviously didn’t want to go out on another rescue, although that would have kept me awake, I also didn’t want to do a job like paperwork which is a sure fire insomnia cure at any time. No, I needed to find something that was relatively automatic but required manual labour and movement.

“Kind of wishing we left washing the Beast until today.” I said to Matthew across the table half way through lunch.

“She didn’t get that dirty last night.” Matthew replied with a bit of a yawn.

“No she didn’t, but washing her would at least be an easily manageable job this afternoon. Not too much brain power but plenty of exercise to keep me awake.”

“Since we sat down I’m starting to wonder if I will make it through the afternoon before nodding off.”

“I’m starting to think the same thing.” I said as I mopped up some egg yolk with my bread. “I really hate the idea of sleeping too long and ruining my night time sleep.”

“You could always set your alarm for three or four o’clock, just to take the edge off.”

Of course he was right and I had thought of it but I just wasn’t a day time sleeper. At the same moment I was contemplating when I’d prefer to sleep, for about the fiftieth time since getting home, we were interrupted by a ringing phone. I groaned at the thought of someone ringing me for a rescue, as I said I would go, but I wasn’t looking forward to it.

I picked up my phone which as laying face down on the table. I looked at the screen and immediately recognised the number as a landline number rather than a mobile number. I didn’t recognise the number but I did recognise the state code was for Western Australia and the area code was for Broome. I don’t get a lot of calls from Broome, but I did know the first four digits when I saw them. Being a land line and a Broome number it limited the chances of someone calling me for a rescue. But I had to answer it anyway, at least a phone conversation might keep me awake a bit longer.

I picked the phone up off the table, hit the button to answer it then lifted it too my ear, I hated hands free when I was at home in case you’d forgotten.

“Hello. Dean’s Outback Rescue.” I said into the phone polite and to the point. I waited for the person on the other end to speak, before replying. “Yes, yes he is here. Can I ask who’s calling and what the call is about?” I asked acting almost like I’d changed jobs and become a secretary. I again waited for my turn to talk. “No worries, I’ll just get him now for you.”

I could see Matthew looking at me with a strange look on his face, I wasn’t sure if it was because I was being so polite or because someone appeared to be ringing my phone to talk to him.

Pulling the phone from my ear having politely got all the details I needed I passed the phone to Matthew and said, “It’s for you.”

Previous Outback Rescue story here.


  1. Hey mate, we, Americans, are not weird. We have scones, bagels, biscuits and rolls, none of which has chocolate; that’s called a donut.
    Internet says Tim Tams are cookies, maybe you Aussie’s are confused?

    • Hmmm,
      hmmm, now that is weird!
      I’m not Vegemite’s biggest fan, I don’t mind it but wont eat it out of the jar, but I’m also not one for all the different flavours and recipes of the stuff. If I’m going to have it it’s got to be the original.

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