“Snuckcugerness!” Rigbaold the pernicketness exclaimed loudly to the empty cabin of his ute, he then quickly looked around to make sure no one was in ear shot to hear what he said. Thankfully for him there was no one close enough to hear his Tumcuddulan curse word.
His cursing was as a direct result of him reading the information on the screen of his GPS, information relating to the area where he was and what attractions there was to see. His reason for cursing was that one such attraction he had the chance to see he was not going to be able to see all of.
Despite his disappointment Rigabold requested the full details about the attraction he was looking at. Moments later on the screen in the centre of the dashboard the information for the Nullarbor Links Golf Course was on the screen for him to read.
On Tumcuddula golf was not just a hobby, it was a planetary enforced task which formed a part of every standard four thousand five hundred and twenty linpickle workday. The health benefits of golf to the Tumcuddulan form was undeniable so much so every Tumcuddulan happily partook in the game. It was such a part of the culture that golf courses became more prominent than buildings and they became multi-level designs so that several courses could be built in the same location.
However despite their love for the game there was something Australia had that not even the Tumcuddulan’s had done. That was the World’s Longest Golf Course, which as the Tumcuddulan’s knew could just have accurately been named the Longest Golf course of all galaxies.
Rigabold had read about Nullarbor Links before leaving home but because he knew he’d have to take the human form whilst on Earth he didn’t bother packing his golf clubs. Something else Tumcuddulan’s had worked out many squeelookals prior was that the human form is possibly the worst form that a game like golf can be played in. The human body aches, twinges and pangs with the movements needed to be great at such a game, its part of the reason so many the human champions fall from grace with stupid made up issues like sex addiction, it’s to hide what had really happened to their body.
Although he’d deliberately left his clubs at home Rigabold had every intention of visiting the Nullarbor course before he’d arrived on Earth, however his outrage as he sat at Norseman was because coming the short way from Wave Rock meant he had to make a four hour detour to Kalgoorlie and back or he’d miss three of the eighteen holes. Four hours for three holes of a golf course seemed to be a waste of time, even when time wasn’t at a premium for him.
He didn’t need to read through the information again but he did and he read it while he ate his Chiko Rolls. As the title suggested the Nullarbor Links golf course was the World’s longest course. It was an 18 hole, par 72 course, which sounded like pretty much any other course anywhere in the world, even the courses in Tumcuddula. However the Nullarbor course spanned 1400 kilometres and 15 towns. Each hole had a tee and a green, not always made from natural grass and fairways made from the natural terrain of rock, sand and dirt. The course was primarily made to provide travellers with an attraction and activity to break up the long monotonous drive along the desolate highway.
But Rigabold was going to miss three holes, two in Kalgoorlie and one in Kambalda, unless he backtracked four hours. Driving faster, even only twenty goobars over the speed limit was not really an option open to him either given that the highway between Norseman and Kalgoorlie was quite heavily trafficked, for an outback road, and the risk of coming up on someone from behind at such a high speed and causing an accident which would give away too much information about him was just not an option.
Rigabold drummed his fingers lightly on the steering wheel as he considered his options.
If he was going to head north towards Kalgoorlie to visit a few golf holes, the same ones he was looking at on the screen thanks to the massively powerful Tumcuddulan satellites that orbited Earth, he was going to waste quiet a bit of time, and need more Chiko Rolls. If he took a quick squizz at the two holes located within about two minutes walk, and a few fence leaps, from where he was parked, then continued his tracking eastward stopping at all the other holes he could still tell his fellow Tumcuddulan’s that he visited the course, and he’d need more Chiko Rolls.
Thinking about it logically the answer was simple, he could not justify four hours on the road, two hours in each direction, just for three holes of a golf course that was not part of his mission goal. However if he visited the remaining holes, gathered information and showed how important that information could be to his fellow Tumcuddulan’s there was a chance that he could convince the powers that be there was a need for him to navigate a return mission purely to visit and play the longest golf course in many galaxies.
Twenty minutes later, having visited the two holes of the Nullarbor Links golf course that were located in Norseman Rigabold was back in the BP service station buying more Chiko Rolls. It was pure luck that he managed to get in and out of the service centre without being seen or served by the same girl who served him the first time and therefore he raised no questions.
Five minutes later, Rigabold was on Eyre Highway headed east . The sun was still relatively low in the eastern sky and it was a clear day which made driving and eating Chiko Rolls an enjoyable way to kill the day.