The first thing Rigabold the pernicketness did when he got back into the Dodge was key in the address he’d memorised from the bottle of spearmint moo juice flavouring, that Catherine had shown, him into the GPS. In the time it took him to lift the spearmint moo juice straw to his lips the Galaxy Positioning System returned the result he wanted.

“Eighteen hundred linpickles?” Rigabold said to himself looking at the estimated travelling time to the Perth Location he’d keyed in.

He switched the time setting from Tumcuddulan units to Earth units. Immediately the figures looked less exhausting because they had reduced dramatically from eighteen hundred linpckles to thirty hours. It was still a long time to be driving a vehicle, but thirty definitely sounded better than eighteen hundred.

Rigabold knew he could cut that time down further especially in his Tumcuddulan modified Earth vehicle that was capable of speeds in excess of a quagnackle, or in laymens terms three hundred kilometres per hour. However in his studies of Earth he’d also learnt that in all countries drivers had a common belief that they knew more than the law makers and that speed limits should be an arbitrary figure judged by the idiot behind the wheel. The problem with such a belief was that most of the people considered themselves to be superior operators of motor vehicles when in fact they were little more than steering wheel attendants too hell bent on picking fault in others to notice their own.

“Silly Earthlings!” Rigabold said to himself as he sipped his spearmint drink. His trip would be slower because of their lack of skill but in the interest of his own safety he would obey as many of the laws as he could.

The one thing Rigabold did have on his side that Earthlings didn’t was that he could drive that thirty hours without sleep or without the effects of no sleep. While some Earthies had discovered, and were trying to convince the rest of them, that prolonged time without sleep is on a par with being drunk, especially behind the wheel, the Tumucuddulans had long ago worked it out and modified their bodies. They knew that the only cure for fatigue was sleep, so they reprogrammed their bodies not to need sleep. Something else they knew was that such a cure wouldn’t work for Earthies because for some Earthies the times of sleep was the only time they could actually be considered human.

With such a long trip ahead of him Rigabold decided to peel out and eat the remainder of the his Chikos on the road. “Peeling out” wasn’t an accurate description of how he took off because he wasn’t that keen to bring attention upon himself but since he’d heard the term used on some American movie he’d watched on his trip to Earth he decided that was the term he’d use whenever he took off from somewhere.

Heading out of Halls Creek eating his first Chiko roll, of the second batch, Rigabold passed a pub, which according to his research was a place locals sometimes called a watering hole, however very little water ever seemed to be consumed in such a place, the choice of liquid was usually amber in colour, served ice cold with a frothy head and called beer.

Opposite the pub was a building with a blue and white sign out the front, the sign had the word “POLICE” written on it, a word Rigabold knew meant law enforcement. Parked under the sign was a vehicle with the same word printed across the doors and red and blue lights on the roof. While parked in front of that was what he thought was the same white truck like vehicle, bigger than his own, with a flat bed tray on the back which he was sure he’d seen heading out of town towards where he parked his Stargazer, as he arrived in town.

Two people, one of each variety, stood near the front vehicle, the man variety seemed to be wearing a uniform of some sort which Riagbold assumed related to the law enforcement, while the female was more casually dressed. They kind of looked like they were conducting some kind of business but Rigabold’s sensitive hearing was able to pick up that to two of them were actually talking about the thing that Tummcuddulans called rumpy pumpy.

The law enforcement officer, or police man, or cop, waved to Rigabold as he drove by, he knew it was a polite gesture of greeting and waved back to the man but he did find it a little amusing that given the topic the two of them were discussing the polite officer was able to interrupt it to wave at a stranger passing through town. Rigabold drove on laughing quietly to himself

The road out of town didn’t run due west, more west, southwest, and the sun was still more than a few hours from setting in the cloudless sky but it was big, bright and still had plenty of heat in it as it streamed through the windscreen of Rigabold’s Dodge. Not for the first time since arriving on Earth Riagbold was thankful for his automatic eye tinting, if only humans had taken the Tumcuddulan’s hints and modified their eyes to adapt for different lighting conditions. It might not have been essential on Earth like it was on other planets where the suns were hotter and brighter but it still would have been a sensible modification to the human body.

“Silly humans!” Rigabold said to the empty car, he then laughed and went back to driving and eating his Chiko Rolls.

Previous Episode here.
First Episode here.