I have to say that for someone who had never before aimed the nozzle of a pressure washer directly at a moving, and breathing, target like Matthew I was bloody good. I guess it also helped that Matthew was slow off the mark because I don’t actually think he expected me to pull the trigger. Well I fooled him!
“Oooowww!” screamed Matthew like a school girl getting her pigtails yanked on.
The spray hit him almost exactly where I was aiming. I wasn’t being a complete bitch and aiming at his head, that would be mean, instead I aimed the spray at his stomach, a soft padded zone if ever I’d seen one!
As I said his first reaction was too late and for that reason instead of running from the spray he crouched which didn’t help him a single bit because as he crouched the target of the spray moved. Due to the act of crouching he pulled his arms in close and tried to cover his stomach, while he managed in part to do that and deflect the spray onto his arms the movement itself created another issue.
When the spray deflected off its new target, his arm, the water shot off in different directions and thanks to his crouching his face was one of those targets. His open mouth that was letting out that girlie scream was also one of the new targets and instead of a scream I heard a large gurgle, choking type of sound.
After a few seconds Matthew’s brain finally started to kick in and remind him what he needed to do. Instead of standing there trying to scream at me with a mouthful of water he started waddling towards the Beast, his plan to put the cabin of the truck between himself and my spray.
“What the hell was that for?” I heard him call out from in front of the Beast when I let the trigger go and stopped the spray of water.
“Oh let me see, who was it that hit me in the face with a soggy sponge.” I asked, my voice only a little louder than normal conversation.
“Well, yeah, that was me, but I think that’s a bit different than attacking someone with a pressure cleaner. Especially someone who is not prepared to be attacked.”
“How were you not prepared for the attack? You had just thrown a sponge at me, you had to know I wouldn’t take such an attack without retaliating.” As I spoke I slowly moved around the rear corner of the tray.
Obviously I had the upper hand with the sprayer because if I moved quickly I could chase Matthew down quicker than he could run. Even if Matthew had found something else to use as a projectile I still had the upper hand, but the choice to end the game at a score of one all was in Matthew’s hand at that stage.
“I didn’t think you’d attack with the bloody spray, I thought you’d throw the sponge back and I felt pretty safe you wouldn’t hit me with that no matter how hard you tried!” Matthew replied still hiding around the front of the Beast.
“Seriously?” I asked. “I’m standing here with the pressure washer and you are still throwing insults at me? I honestly thought you were smarter than that!”
“I only have to be smart enough to beat you and lets face it that is no major effort!”
“You speak pretty big while in hiding.” I called out stepping slowly along the side of the Beast trying not to let the hose of the pressure washer give away my movements as I got closer to the unit in the shed.
“Like I said, I only have to outsmart you. I’m not even worried that you are trying to sneak up on me.”
“What are you talking about?” I was about half the way along the Beast’s tray and stopped in my tracks.
“Awe come on sis, give me some credit, I know what you are doing.” I said nothing and moved nowhere. “Thankfully you don’t know what I am doing.”
I wouldn’t have admitted it but he was right. I had no idea what he was doing and that’s why when he darted out from his protected spot and straight at the shed door I wasn’t ready to take advantage of him being in the open, however that didn’t stop me trying.
Just like Matthew was too late with his first reaction to my attack I was a fraction of a second later that I could have been when I saw him running. He was obviously hoping that I wouldn’t spray the pressure cleaner into the open shed door, and had I not been fairly sure that I wasn’t going to hit anything other than him or his rented four wheel drive I probably wouldn’t have tried, but I did.
The problem, as I suggested, was that I was a fraction slower than I needed to be and I did in fact miss him with all but a small part of the spray. I did however wash the rear end of his Toyota Prado.
I was just about to call out something about Matthew being a chicken for hiding from me instead of standing up to fight when I realised exactly what he was doing. Even before everything registered in my mind and I removed my finger from the nozzle trigger Matthew had flicked the power switch and stopped the flow of the pressure cleaner.
Matthew stepped out from behind the wall of the shed as soon as he noticed the spray slowly down. I didn’t miss the huge grin on his face before he spoke I just decided not to say anything before he spoke.
“Are you ready to call a truce?” he asked.
Previous Outback Rescue story here.