Danny wasn’t being completely naive, he was on a high from a good, winning weekend of racing which clouded his personal thoughts a little bit but not so much as to see everything with rose coloured glasses.
There was no denying that life at that moment in time was pretty good, there was also no denying that he was proud to be moving forward with his wife, but there was still some choppy water under the bridge which hadn’t fully settled. But perhaps the most important thing he knew was that right at that moment talking about the choppy water would do neither of them any good.
The truth was they had talked about it, they had come forward as a couple and they both admitted fault, something Danny couldn’t have done six months earlier because in his mind back then there was no fault that was his. If things were to keep moving forward, and Danny thought that was what he wanted, more talking would be required and on a lot more topics than just the past, continually re-cutting old wounds was not the way for that to move forward.
It was too easy for Danny to think back to the day he realised Tracey had walked out. It was too easy for him to dwell on how many of his calls she ignored. And it was too easy to get stuck on how long she was missing. But he also knew that it was the same for Tracey. Too easy to dwell on the fact that he wasn’t there for her. Too easy to remind herself work seemed more important than she did. But most of all too easy to remember that she went through the pain of loosing the baby by herself because she knew Danny wasn’t there for her.
The past had its place and it shouldn’t be ignored but Danny knew it should also not spend it’s time tainting the present or the future. It was for that reason Danny had to start using techniques the team doctors had taught him to help with his racing, of course his personal life was not the same as his professional life but the similarities were there and the gist of it was simple. Don’t forget the mistakes made in the last lap, but never dwell on them for too long because the longer they fester in your mind the more the laps ahead of you will be effected. On the track Danny had his team and the radio ear piece to remind him of something so simple, in life there was no radio ear piece just a voice in his head he had to try hard not to ignore.
“You’re pretty quiet, babe!” Tracey said without taking her eyes from the road.
Danny still wasn’t sure how he felt about the word babe when said by Tracey. Once upon a time he’d thought it was cute and loved hearing it come out of her mouth, it then became a word she seemed to use out of habit, then it just seemed to drop from her vocabulary, but since her return it seemed like it was being added as an attempt to make things between them seem better. Driving home he definitely wasn’t back at the cute stage but he thought he was passed the making it better stage.
“Umm, yeah, sorry, just thinking about the race and coming down a bit.” Danny replied, he then added quickly. “I wasn’t being rude or ignoring you.”
“Oh, I didn’t think that, the car was just a bit quiet, that was all.”
It was like a nervous tick, in times of silence some people shut up and resent others who can talk, like Danny often did, while others utter words that may not make sense and often get resented for doing it. Because Tracey was one of those people that regularly got uncomfortable in moments of silence she often found herself asking questions or saying things others thought out of place, or worse thought were wrong. Both her and Danny knew which side of that particular fence they sat on, it was hard not to given how even a casual car drive home could remind them of it.
Almost as if someone outside the car had been listening to their conversation and wanted to step in and help them by giving them a topic of conversation the car was suddenly filled with a blast of an air horn. The noise of the klaxon echoed through the car, the quietness of the night helped the noise travel but the horn was also close enough not to need it.
Although taking them both by fright the blasting air horn was not for them or in relation to something they had done, it was actually from the semi trailer slightly ahead of them in the right hand land of the freeway warning car driver in the middle lane that they were wandering across the lanes. While the blasting of the air horn from the alert truck driver might have saved an accident from happening, inside Tracey’s car it actually started a conversation. It was a conversation about poor driving and how little so many drivers seem to understand about fatigue but it was conversation that neither of them had to think too hard about to make happen and one that broke the silence between them.
Twenty minutes later when Tracey pulled the car into the empty garage they were still chatting away, the topic had changed several times and none of them had gotten too heavy but they were still talking. The conversation continued for a few minutes once they were inside but due to Danny’s tiredness it was short lived because his bed was talking louder to him that Tracey ever could.
Previous Racing Story here.