I know by now you are hanging on every word I say, waiting for more, waiting to see if I use the dial and waiting to see what the next adventure will be…well…
…well I don’t mind telling you that I nearly considered walking away, actually not just walking away smashing the dial, smashing the flip phone and destroying everything related to it.
Well let me start by saying I wasn’t worried about leaving Téa in some weird limbo land where she was waiting for me to join her, that’s not how the dial worked. According to her own description she would be sitting at her house waiting for me to do something at my end . If you remember correctly the time travel thing works because the two of us are connected, I have the dial to take us there and she has the watch to bring us home. Ok, it’s more complicated than that but that is the basics and if you haven’t got a grasp on the idea with all the times I have discussed it then I’m probably wasting my breath telling you again. But trust me when I say Téa isn’t waiting somewhere dangerous for me.
There was that unexplained sequence early on where Téa’s thoughts entered this equation, thoughts that somehow went missing, thoughts that even went a way to explaining her mind set and reasons for doing what she was doing. But those thoughts got lost in the ether for reasons only Téa understands. It would have been nice f they were kept to help form this story better but alas they are gone and not entering my thoughts at the time.
So Téa was safe at her house, barring any axe wielding maniac running through her door, or maybe an old lady running around singing Joe Jackson’s “Got The Time.” And I guess your still wondering how I got from “should I or shouldn’t I?” to “I want to destroy the dial and everything associated with it!”
Well that was all because I felt like I was being used, not that such usage is an entirely bad thing because if you think about it hard enough we all get used for things in our daily life. We are used at work to do the stuff the person above us doesn’t want to do, the same stuff the person above them didn’t want to do. It is called work and there is a hierarchy that says who does what but it’s essentially just a different way to use the person whose title dictates they are less than you. We are used as friends and family decided which task they want us to help them with, from the most mundane task of listening to their crap to the most physical task of helping them move house. We are all used and we use others, so being used wasn’t the only reason I was having the thoughts I was, being used without a known reason did have something to do with it though.
Téa had explained the dial and it’s workings oh so well, she did it in amazing detail and where those details where a little sketchy she was honest enough to admit she didn’t have all the answers, if you don’t believe me go back through these notes and look. So why was it that she couldn’t, or wouldn’t, explain to me the reasons for doing what it was she expected me to do, and doing it a second time so soon after the first? That was the big question I had no answer too.
I suppose I could look at it as a free mystery holiday to anywhere in the world. A holiday with someone who was not just easy on the eyes but had a killer sense of humour and was a joy to spend time with. I could look at it as a break from the harshness of reality, something to ease the mind, reset the brain and get a bit of relaxation, (ok I know that is stretching it a little bit given I would be with Téa but it could happen!). It was a holiday away without actually being away, it really did sound great didn’t it?
So why wouldn’t Téa give me more information about why we were doing it? It wasn’t like I hadn’t asked her. I asked her a few times and each time she avoided the question, or fobbed it off with a half arsed answer and that wasn’t her style.
Don’t get me wrong I trusted her, I trusted her with my life, she was a good friend but was there something she wasn’t telling me about these jaunts that she had planned? Did she even have them planned or was she just doing things as she felt like it? So many unanswered questions, it was like being married!! Can you see why I was considering just stopping the whole darn thing?
I’m guessing that maybe I’m starting to come off like a bit of a raving loony, someone who doesn’t know how good he’s got it, someone who looks a gift horse in the mouth, someone who should just relax and go with the flow. Well in the words of Alice Cooper…Welcome to my nightmare!
So here’s the thing about being used by people, like I said it’s pretty much what we as humans have come to expect from other people, whether it’s an unconscious thought or done after long deliberation we pretty much use one an other when it suits our purpose. So with all things considered if Téa was using me did it make any difference?
I reached for the dial and closed my eyes….
Previous Parcel Story here.