I walked right into the butcher’s shop
A roast, some snags and a pork chop
Salami, some bacon and a lamb shank
Was all that I wanted from butcher Frank
Waiting my time I was seeing no wrongs
Everything Frank did he did with the tongs
Following all, Health, and Safety laws
He always used those, long silver claws
When it was my turn I said with delight.
“You’re following laws doing everything right.
Using the tongs when you to pick up the meat
Helping the germs beat a hasty retreat”
“That is right sir.” he did say with a smile
“If done right it’s really not any sort of trial
One simple rule, one simple command
Nothing gets touched with the human hands”
I was impressed by his professional manner
Not touching a chop, a drumstick or a banger
Then I saw something that made me a back-flipper
Below his belt, hung a string from his zipper
“Nothing gets touched with the human hands.
Trust me I never waver from that one single plan.”
I wasn’t sure if old Frank was making a joke
Or if at the laws he was having a little bit of a poke.
“Ok Mr. Smart Arse.” I did hear myself say
“How do you manage to put your-self away?”
That’s when I realised it was not a shit stir
“How else would I do it but, with the tongs sir?”