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Outback Rescue: Meeting Someone Famous

Some people are idiots!

Oh that’s right you came back for more details, you probably already know that some people are idiots what you came back for was why I would say such things.

Crocodile Dundee, otherwise known as Matthew my brother, and I were headed out to a rescue. We’d told Nick the cop where we were headed and I let the two of them have a little buddy buddy catch up for a few minutes before leaving.

For the first twenty minutes of our trip I dealt with questions about where we were headed, how I remembered such places and what we were headed for, obviously Matthew’s time in the city hadn’t improved his intention span given that some of it was the same information I’d told Nick while he was standing next to me.

“So how’s things between you and Nick?” Matthew asked me as we turned off Tanami Road and headed north east along a well used track.

“Things are like always. We work together occasionally, we drink together occasionally and sometimes we even have fun.”

“When Mum heard I was coming this way she asked me to find out if Nic..”

I stopped Matthew there, not only did he not need to know anything about Nick and I but Mum really didn’t either. Nick and I being a couple was an ongoing thing in my family and I had no desire to feed the stories with positive or negative thoughts.

Until recently some of you might have wondered why I don’t do family get togethers too often or talk about Nick and I as anything more than work colleges, well now you have your answer. I love my family and I love it when they visit, or I visit them, but the conversations that arise each time we are together quickly remind me why I can live as far away from them as I do.

So the upshot of all that is that Matthew agreed to drop the conversation and I agreed not to drop him off in middle on nowhere and let him walk home.

Just over an hour after we left town as we headed along an unnamed track, still in a north easterly direction I put a general call out on the CB radio. Given our location I felt fairly confident that we were within radio range of stranded party we were headed to rescue. Several moments after I released the CB microphone button a voice came back across the airwaves.

“That will be us, we are waiting for someone named Dean, have you seen him?”

“That’s us,” I replied and gave them our exact location, hoping they would then reciprocate with a bit of helpful information, you know something like their exact location, but they seemed to forget how helpful such information was so I had to ask them.

The stranded party was about twenty minutes from us and although I had a fair idea where we’d find them before we left I was thankful for the more in depth description I finally got from them. Turns out my first estimation was about fifteen kilometres out, not really that bad considering the information I had and how big and expansive this country really is. This is why we rely so much on radios out here, sat phones are good but good location descriptions, knowing the area and a radio when we get closer are essential.

“G’day Dean, the name’s Frank!” the tall dark haired man said as we climbed out of the Beast and walked towards the four men.

It was a polite gesture and was accompanied by an open hand offered for shaking, the only problem was that it was directed at Matthew and not me. Okay so as I’ve said before the name Dean often gets mistaken by people for being of the male gender and I don’t get offended by such mistakes. Even from tattooed fuckwits like the guy standing before us, you know the sort of guy, muscles on muscles, a sleeve of tattoos, a head that looked too small for his body. Ok I guess that could be me being a little bit judgemental, not all David Beckham look-a-likes are as dumb as he is but you get the picture and when you hear what this guy said next I’m sure you’ll agree even Beckham’s single digit IQ is higher than this guy’s was.

“Hi Frank. This is…” Matthew was interrupted. I know my brother well enough to know he was interrupted before he had a chance to politely suggest that Mr Beckham was incorrect with whom he was addressing.

“What is this? Bring your secretary to work day?”

See I told you the real Mr Beckham has an higher IQ!

Matthew shook the man’s hand laughing loudly with him, the other three men leaning against the Toyota where laughing as well but not as hard as Mr Beckham. When the men laughed I remained silent figuring that my dear brother would right the wrongs that had been made so early in our acquaintance.

“Gday Frank. Happy to meet you, as I was about to say..” Matthew paused for a few moments then added. “…My name is Matthew, this is my sister Dean.” Matthew said no more he just let his words fall upon Mr Beckham’s empty head.

You know those heart felt and deep movie scenes where they play it close up and in slow motion and you can almost see the the poor sap’s heart break in two when they let him or her down? Well that’s kind of what happened with our new friend.

At first I wondered if Frank had heard what Matthew had said, the only indication I had was that he stopped laughing, his facial expression gave away absolutely nothing. Then a few seconds later I think the words started to sink into his mushy head because his eyes started to twitch and there was a small glimmer in them. Of course it could have been the sun reflecting of his pupils too but I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.

From there things really started to come together as Frank’s brain suggested to him that he’d made a wee error in judgement when he’d seen us rock up. However his biggest problem was that while he remembered my name from that moment onwards it still seemed like he’d lost his good manners.

Previous Desert Rescue story here.


  1. Deanna

    Matthew is a wonderful distraction and this is a delightful setup. I’m excited to see how awesome Dean handles these blokes. : )

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