“I’m not sure when I’ll be home tonight, probably wont be for dinner but hopefully it wont be too much later.” Danny said as he walked through the kitchen grabbing his keys and wallet. With only two days until they left for the race at Sands, working hours weren’t standard 9-5.
“No worries. Ring me on your way home if you want something cooked.” Tracey replied. “Have a good day.”
Since Danny and Tracey had returned from their weekend get away at the beach front holiday house on Sunday afternoon things had been extremely good between the two of them. On a few occasions they had spoken about the issues that existed between them and each time the conversation had been peaceful and positive. However the most encouraging thing about the weekend was that it had allowed them to talk about other things including their future, a future both of them wanted.
Wanting a future didn’t automatically mean that either party was willing to forgive and forget. For Danny he understood Tracey’s reasons for walking out on him, he didn’t agree with all of them but he understood them. He had no intention of making light of her depression or the miscarriage, but he was convinced that it shouldn’t have taken as long as it did for Tracey to get over it, especially not with the medical help she had been receiving.
For Tracey forgiveness was probably closer because there was no escaping the fact that Danny was a gentleman, for the most part, but was that enough? At the very least until he could admit his anger and his lack of communication were a big part of the problems they suffered and the main reason she felt she had to walk out and let him deal with “Danny the Racing Champion”, forgiveness would be difficult.
But while neither of them were quite ready to reach for forgiveness that didn’t mean they weren’t ready to work with each other.
“Are you coming to the race this weekend?” Danny asked hanging on to the open back door before stepping out of the house.
“Do you want me there?” Tracey asked answering a question with a question.
“Umm, yeah. Yes I guess I would be happy for you to be there, at least on Sunday.”
Although the Sands circuit was only across town Danny would be spending Friday and Saturday night at the track with the team. Such weekends were always hectic and keeping in the head space needed to win races was always easier for Danny if he stayed with the team. Tracey knew an accepted such things for what they were but it wasn’t always her scene.
“I’ve got appointment on Friday,” both of them knew the appointment was with Tracey psychologist but it didn’t need to be spoken, “but I could drive over on Saturday and Sunday.”
“No worries, just let me know which days you want your name on the gate. Dave’s counting the names on the free list again and sometimes he can be a bit anal about people not using their free tickets, it’s almost like the bloody things come out of his pocket.”
Danny caught himself before he went into further details, it wasn’t that he was keeping secrets again but Dave had made a scene at the workshop the day before about the free tickets. Danny assumed it had something to do with Tracey turning up unannounced at the first race and Dave trying to protect his race team but there was no point calling him out on it so he didn’t bother.
“Well I’ll definitely be there on Saturday and Sunday but don’t put me down for Thursday or Friday, how’s that?” Tracey replied with a smile.
“Sounds good, we’ll work out the details tonight. I have to go! Cya tonight.”
“Cya tonight babe!” Tracey said as the door swung shut. Dropping the word babe was a force of habit Tracey was getting back into, she didn’t actually mean to drop it at that particular time but she also didn’t think Danny heard it either.
Walking to the garage where his dual cab ute was parked behind the slowly rising roller door which he’d opened with the remote control on his key ring Danny mulled over Tracey final comment. He really wished he was at a position where he could return such comments without it feeling uncomfortable but he wasn’t.
As he reversed out the driveway he promised himself that he would try to get himself towards a point where he could use such endearing terms towards his wife again in the near future. On the highway headed towards the workshop listening to the radio without really hearing it and lost in his own thoughts Danny also promised himself that he too would follow Tracey’s lead and speak to someone about what he was feeling. The team psychologist was the obvious choice, free, always there and employed for a reason, but the more Danny thought about it the more he convinced himself obvious was not the best. Being referred to the team psyche because ‘the team’ required it was one thing but talking to someone about life seemed to be something entirely different and for that reason Danny thought it required someone different.
By the time Danny pulled into the car park at the workshop he’d decided on two things. Firstly on Monday morning after the team debrief and race wrap up he would organise himself the rest of the day off. Secondly he’d used his afternoon off to talk to Tracey about how she’d feel if he started seeing the same psychologist she had been talking to either as a couple or alone.
Previous Car Racing story here.