Danny was feeling ambivalent, he was in a bit of shock because without meaning to do so his entire story had been exposed, hiring the PI, lying to Tracey, even the fact that he’d paid someone to hit on her. However at the same time he also felt relieved for exactly the same reason.
Tracey’s story was out as well, her struggle with life, her depression, her fear that Danny wouldn’t be able to handle another miscarriage, all of it. She felt relieved, so relieved she wasn’t even annoyed with Danny’s story, upset maybe but not annoyed.
In several short hours, which had taken nearly two weeks, the two of them had finally spoken and gotten their stories out. It wasn’t an overly smooth delivery of stories but they were out in the open and the chips were left to fall where they landed.
Before all those chips had even landed Tracey had asked Danny if it was possible to forget the bad things, forget the things that hurt each other and concentrate of the future.
Silence had fallen over both of them and without consciously doing so they had both turned and began staring out across the ocean. The outdoor patio setting at the house they were renting for the weekend was quiet and the crashing waves could be heard while they weren’t speaking but there was no calming feeling coming from those waves for either Tracey or Danny.
“I’m going to get a drink.” Danny said as he got up from his chair, the sound of chair legs scraping on concrete pavers snapping Tracy from her trance like state. “Do you want another coffee?”
“Thank you. I’d love one. Would you like a hand making it?”
“I’m not an idiot I can boil the kettle!” Danny response was over the top and grouchy and he knew it, it was also unintentional so he apologised for it immediately. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. I wasn’t thinking. I’ll be fine I’ll get the coffee, stay there.”
Danny grabbed the coffee cups from on the table and disappeared into the house to make the coffee while Tracey remained outside and resumed looking out to the ocean. She wasn’t in the same trance like state she was in a few moments before and she could hear all the noises associated with making coffee from inside.
“Here you go.” Danny said as he placed Tracey’s mug of steaming coffee on the glass top table. “I’m sorry I exploded, I honestly didn’t mean too.”
“It’s ok Danny, we’ve both exploded at the wrong times,” Danny was still standing so Tracey added. “Please sit down…”
Before she had a chance to finish her comment Danny sat down and started speaking.
“Ok I been thinking about this while I made coffee so not for too long, therefore if I make any mistakes I apologise but I really want to say this. I guess I have wanted to say some of it for while but I just couldn’t let myself do it because I was so angry.”
“What is it Danny? It’s ok, you can tell me anything. Whatever you say wont change things now. I promise.” Tracey knew things were sounding one sided, almost like Danny was to blame for everything and she was waiting for his apology but that wasn’t what she was doing. She hoped he knew it too.
Danny said nothing in response to Tracey’s comment instead he began talking from the point he wanted too.
“I’m sorry for the private investigator.”
“You don’t need to be, honestly.”
“Please let me finish.” Danny said before starting again. “I’m sorry, I thought I was doing the right thing, thought If I could find you I could talk to you. But after I did find you I just didn’t have the words to say. I went through thousands of words in my head but I realised when the pressure was on I didn’t know how to talk to you. I’d forgotten how to talk to you because I’d spent too long stuck in my own shell.”
“It wasn’t all you. I didn’t think I could talk to you either!” Tracey said as Danny took a breath and a sip of his coffee.
The two of them sat on that patio and spoke until lunch time. There was no raised voices, no disagreements and most of all no judgements. Somewhere during the conversation the two of them had stopped apologising for every mistake they had made and every hurdle they had put up, it wasn’t a concious decision by either of them it had just happen. Not only had it happened but it also made the conversation flow so much better when each of them could talk without interruption.
Not long after midday when the wind turned onshore and picked up speed sitting outside on the patio became uncomfortable and the two of them decided to move inside.
“What do you want for lunch.” Danny asked as he shut the glass sliding door.
“I don’t think I can be bothered going out, but we really didn’t bring much.”
“Hang on a second, I think I remember seeing something in that folder.” Danny stepped over to the table and opened the folder which contained a collection of flyers and brochures for local businesses. He flicked through a few and then held one in the air. “Here it is. How about Chinese. Open for lunch and home delivery!”
While Danny ordered lunch Tracey put the kettle on. She was thinking about the conversations they had just had, even she knew they were conversations they should have had a long time ago, she just hoped it was better late than never.
“So where does this leave us Danny?” Tracey said when Danny hung the phone up.
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