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The Pirate Captain: Pirates Is All We Can Be

There isn’t a pirate who sails the seven seas that doesn’t know their death could lay somewhere over the next horizon. They live their sea bound lives rolling on the waves from port to port, never backing away from a fight, never missing the chance to loot, pillage or plunder and never forgoing the opportunity to partake in a tipple of the devil’s nectar.

Rum, cider, ale, wine, the particular devil rarely mattered when it came to sating a thirsty pirate crew. Similar thoughts were held about the establishment in which they celebrated. Of course they had their favourite tavern, the one they would return to at the drop of a hat, but when such a trip was not possible…well…any port in a storm!

For the crews of the Revenge and the Privateer their favourite was of course the den of debauchery that was Nancy’s Tavern. Easy walking distance from their port when sober, nearly effortless staggering distance when they were drunk and always an atmosphere that no other tavern on earth could match. Nancy didn’t care who came to her inn but for her old mate Rummenhaggle she had a particular soft spot that saw her happy to rent the entire pub out to the two crews, for a healthy sum, whenever he requested it.

Although the Good Captain himself had long given up his wandering eye he never denied the crew the chance to do the same and when hiring out Nancy’s he always hired the tavern and the girls as a complete package. Nancy the old tavern wench didn’t mind, money was money and ol’ Rummenhaggle was always good for it.

It was for those reasons that after such a long month the Good Captain ordered a large quantity of gold coins be delivered to Nancy’s. Nancy didn’t ask why, she didn’t need to, she just stashed the large booty of coins in her dungeon and awaited the arrival of the two crews.

The wait wasn’t a long one, two hours at the most, and the crews could be heard coming long before they could be seen. When Nancy opened the front door, showing her current clientele to the street their singing could be heard loud and clear.

Wit’ a hoy hoy hoy ‘n a ho ho ho!
We be hoistin’ th’ flag t’ be free
We shall plunder th’ show, we pirates are go
We be th’ wolves o’ th’ sea

The crew the Privateer, lead by the Good Captain and his fair maiden, stomped cheerfully up the cobbled paths of town. The crew of the Revenge lead by Captain Bildgepoole followed up the rear. Both crews were singing loudly and proudly as they walked.

The townspeople knew and respected the Good Captain’s crew, entrusted their presence alone would protect the town from other pirates and although many had retired to their homes some remained on the streets after the tavern was closed to congratulate the crew on a job well done.

Don’t you try a runnin’, ’tis all said ‘n done
When thar’s a booty in sight
We be a robbin’ ye blind and hopin’ ye don’t mind
We be lootin’ the booty tonight

The cobbled paths were small and the crews took up as much space as they needed, stomping along to the beat of their own song. It wasn’t a march, pirates don’t march, but there was order to the way the Good Captain lead his crews.

Don’t be a putz jus’ walk away
We shall conquer it all
We pirates will stand
‘n you losers will fall

Left turn, right turn, left turn, stomp, stomp stomp, the crews walked loud and proud through the streets of their own town.

Wit’ a hoy hoy hoy ‘n a ho ho ho!
We always be bound t’ th’ sea
Our cap’n stands on th’ bridge ‘n sin’s
“Bein’ pirates is all that we ‘no.”

When the crew turned the last corner and were finally able to see Nancy’s at the end of the street their singing got louder.

Down t’ th’ core you know we be comin’ fer more
Wit’ our cutlass and rapiers close at hand
We be scary, we be bold, n we got ye chest full o’ gold
‘N we get sea legs whenever we be sightin’ land

Nancy opened the door and walked back behind the bar to wait for the crew.

Wit’ a hoy hoy hoy ‘n a ho ho ho!
We always be bound t’ th’ sea
Our cap’n stands on th’ bridge ‘n sin’s
“Bein’ pirates is all that we ‘no.”

The final words of their song echoed through the streets as the Good Captain and the Fair Maiden stepped into the tavern.

“Rummenhaggle me ole salt.” Called Nancy from her perch behind the bar.

“Nancy me ol’ hag.”

“Pull up a stool, ye deserve rum.”

“Thank ye ol’ lass, don’t mind if I do!” Replied the good captain.

“I wassin talkin’ t’ ye, ye cheeky ole scallywag. I was talkin’ t’ th’ fair maiden that has t’ put up wit’ ye!”

As the crew piled into the tavern filling the room with cheers, laughter, hooting and hollering Nancy and the Good Captain shot each other insults. One after another back and forth each one as funny as it was barbed.

Previous Pirate story here.

6 Comments

  1. Delightful post! I love the way you wove the song through the piece! Awesome. Fun start to my day. Perhaps I’ll be a pirate today? : )

  2. I live in the land of pirates here on the Outer Banks of NC and i can tell you this…they are alive still and doing business with us poor and unsuspecting consumers. In fact, Black Beard died here and I am pretty sure he left behind some progeny before he passed on.
    Love me some pirates though! They are fun loving scoundrels!!

    • By all accounts the stories of Black Beard were worse than the man himself. But despite what the history books tell us he’s still one of the most known pirates.

      I don’t think piracy will every go away it just changes forms. I love the idea of old school pirates not the ones that steal container ships with semi automatic rifles. I also don’t like Johnny Deep’s pirates but the idea is of them is fun.

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