Daily Prompt, humor, poetry, Stories, thoughts, writing

Porkers tell porkies.

bad poetry

Don’t be afraid, don’t you be scared
I have a story that needs to be aired
It’s the truth, ain’t no word of a lie
My true story will make you all cry

See those little piggies story is not precise
Because my middle name’s not Bad, it is Nice
I have not been the wolf that they keep saying
And on little piggies I have not been a-preying

The first little piggie got it all wrong
The little sod was inside toking his bong
When I knocked on his door, selling my clocks
Paranoid piggie jumped, drop his match and ignited his jocks

Flames took over the small house of straw
Trying to rescue the piggie, I burnt my paw
But the piggie escaped the fire with his life
And told stories that just caused me strife.

That second little piggie was no bloody better
He invited me inside and offered me his sweater
Inside the house he took out his weapon
It was then, the first piggie did step-in

Between the two of them, they went to town
Pounced on me, beat me, and tied me down
The little porkers then destroyed their digs
Knocking it down was easy, ‘twas made of twigs

From a house of sticks they moved into bricks
But the little buggers did not stop their tricks
I knocked on the door just tryin’ to make a sale
As the bacon rashes tried to cut off my tail

From there things just got infinitely worse
If I were to list them here you’d know how perverse
Those annoying little piggies went feral
I wouldn’t be surprised if the bastard’s made me sterile

Their leather straps and silly gimp suits
Looked hilarious with those studded boots
But I would rather they played hopscotch
Than the dirty games that they made me watch

When I made a mistake and let out a chuckle
The third piggie just went the knuckle
Punched and then kicked me to the ground
Threw me outside and that’s where I was found

They then told everyone I was huffing
Knocking their houses down with me puffing
A sob story the likes you’ve never heard
And no one would believe my honest word

So I’m sick of being treated like a bloody crim
I want to tear those little piggies limb from limb
Give me an oven, and a knife and a fork
And I’ll cook us both some tasty roast pork


  1. Lol …. this is hilarious! Your creative brain is delightful. Fun read. : )

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