driving, events, humor, serial fiction, Stories, truck, writing

Desert Rescue: Who’s Your Daddy?

Yum, yum, yum, if you have never tried one of my special parmas with the chilli sauce, cheese, ham and runny eggs you really don’t know what you’re missing. I have to tell you the melted cheese, especially the sections where it’s thick are just beautiful but when the lovely warm yellow yolk dribbles down the cheese and mixes with the sauces it’s like nothing you have ever tried before.

But this isn’t Masterchef, I’m not sitting here judging Barry’s ability to cook my special recipe, I’m just enjoying it after returning from a quick family rescue out on the Elvire River. However my wonderful lunch had been interrupted by an inconsiderate police office. Bloody Nick!

Balls and all the guy had stormed, well walked, into the pub screaming, well talking in a loud voice, berating me for not filling out a trip report to keep him abreast of my out of town voyages. I of course responded to him in my wonderfully witty ways and we had a little back and forth, to be honest I think he was just jealous because I had my lunch and he didn’t.

When he sat down next to me at the bar and ordered his own lunch I spoke nicely to the lovely police officer.

“Honestly, I actually meant to radio you on the way out of town but I was too busy singing.” I said to him between mouthfuls.

“Oh well that explains it, With such dulcet tones coming from those pipes of yours I can imagine you were in too much pain to reach up and grab the CB mic!” Nick came back with.

“You wish you could sing like me!”

“Oh yeah, I hear MTV calling for you every day Dean.”

“Then you’d also hear me apologising to them because I can’t leave town without letting my Daddy know where I am going first.”

“Who’s your Daddy? Who’s your Daddy?”

I faked coughing up my food after that comment. There really was nothing else for it and Nick knew he’d won that conversation because no matter which way I took it from there things could only get worse.

“Hey Barry,” I looked towards the barman. “Will you hurry up and get Nick’s lunch. He needs something to fill his mouth and keep him quiet!”

Ok so there was one more thing I could say.

We ate in relative silence, well as much silence as a public bar at lunch time allows us. Even in our little town where the pub relies a lot on the dollar of the travelling tourist but is rarely full at lunch time there was an ambience. There is nearly always a television on, Barry doesn’t mind a bit of a bet on the nags and although he doesn’t spend all day watching it like many pubs in the country he has the horse racing on most of the day. There is also a TV that quite often has the news or something similar on it, neither of these screens by themselves make the place noisy but they do add to the ambience.

I was hiding behind that ambience while ate my lunch, I wasn’t annoyed with Nick and what appeared to be an over protective attitude towards me, I understood why he was that way and was thankful for it. In this country every few years various governments agencies and councils run adverts with the tag line “Let someone know before you go.”It’s a good message and one everyone should listen too when they leave for a trip in the outback, even me! If something had happened to me out there and phone coverage, which is patchy at best, or radio reception, couldn’t get my SOS out no one would know when to start looking for me or where to start looking.

“I’m sorry I didn’t let you know I was going out,” I said to Nick as I pushed my empty plate forwards indicating to Barry that I’d finished with it.

“No worries,” he replied.

“I could make excuses like I thought the call came through you first, or I knew I was only forty minutes away, or whatever. But the truth was I just plain forgot.”

“Relax, I was only razzin’ ya!”

“I know but, I also knew I wasn’t going to be far away, figured it was going to be an easy rescue and figured I’d be home for lunch and none of that excuses me from telling you where I am going. I promise I’ll remember next time.”

I was being a little over the top with my apology but I did mean it.

“So what’s next?” Nick asked me.

“Nothing right now. I wouldn’t mind a couple of days to myself, you know.”

Nick knew that a couple days to myself was little more than me spending a few days at home without having to rescue someone, not something silly like getting away from everything, or the wonderful “me time” excuse that so many people used these days.

“So are you headed home now?” Nick asked.

“Yep,” I then turned to Barry. “Thanks for lunch Barry. Put it on my tab I’ll cya later!”

“No worries Dean, have a good one.” Barry replied.

“Cya Dean.” Nick added as I climbed off the bar stool and headed for the door.

One of the good things about living so far out of anywhere is that I don’t get very many visitors. It’s not that the people in town were rude or didn’t like me it’s just that when I was home they gave me the peace and quiet I wanted. In fact I’d go as far as laying a bet down that if I don’t get any calls for help the next person to drive through my front gate and down the driveway would be Nick, coming to check I was still breathing after two days of not seeing me, if only I had someone to bet with!

I know it was me being hopeful for a few days off but when I arrived home I parked the Beast in the shed. I wasn’t planning any work on it, although if I spend long enough at home I inevitably end up doing something on her, but parking it inside was my little way of telling the world to leave me alone. Would it work? Only time would tell.

It was barely 2pm and I’m not usually the sort of person that goes for an afternoon siesta, so once the Beast was parked and the shed relocked I headed inside for a Nanna nap.

Previous Desert Rescue story here.


  1. Gotta love Dean! My heroine, but this runny eggs business has to stop. I like to read but don’t want to puke at the beginning

    • It’s only because I know you secretly love them so much. However you also have to take into consideration that some of these stories could have been written more than a month ago when you first made the complaints about eggs.

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