humor, sleepless, Stories, thoughts, writing

Everything is bigger in….

So I was doing a little net surfing and came across some images of maps comparing the USA to Australia. I’ve never really done a direct comparison but I was slightly humoured by a poster on one forum from Texas living by the “everything is bigger in Texas” mantra by saying that Texas was so big it could take them four hours to travel from major city to major city. That wonderful little tale was followed by an Aussie thanking them for their cute little story by saying they could travel four hours and not even see a town.

That got me thinking about how much accuracy there is in such data so I did some extensive research and five minutes later I came up with this. (figures are rounded)

Australia population 24.million (2015)
USA population 321 million (2015)

No matter how you look at those figures it’s a shitload more people in the US than in Australia.

So therefore Australia must be smaller right? Well it is, check out the sizes.
*Note: I’ll use the metric system because it makes things sound bigger and the Yanks are all about being bigger even if size doesn’t matter!*

Australia 7.7million km2
USA 9.8 million km2

Now I can’t be stuffed working out percentages but the difference in land sizes is not the same ‘shitload’ as the population ‘shitload’ it’s way smaller.

Now it’s known fact, well it’s a story I’ve heard quoted a few times only I can’t remember the exact figures but it’s close enough to be fact because I wont listen to anyone else proving me wrong. Something like 97% of Australian’s live on or near (within 2 hours) the coast but that 97% only takes up something like 5% of the land mass.

So what’s all that mean? Not a lot really just a bunch of useless facts I thought I would share for the sake of it. Now how about some pretty pictures?

Ok now this pretty picture could be disputed a hundred different ways from Sunday, but when you get to to Sunday I still don’t care because this is my story and I’m right, just ask me. (Figjam).

Don’t worry America is still clearly bigger, but even with the size difference you Yanks must really pack people in like sardines given you can get 300 million more people in that space. Damn I could not imagine 300 million more crappy drivers on the roads, 300 million more shoppers and 300 million more whingers. My hat goes off to you American’s , (we’ll get to that hat soon)

Although Texas can be seen on this map how about this for a comparison below. (ok again it’s not exactly accurate but it’s closer than you’ve ever tried to do so get off my case 😛 )

Everything is bigger in Texas but Texas fits inside Queensland and Queensland isn’t even our biggest state. However I will give Texas USA one thing, it’s bigger than the town Texas in Queensland (which is several hundred kilometres east of the bottom tip of the Texas picture above).

So now if we go back to original comment that made me start this silly post it’s easy to see that everything is NOT bigger in Texas because Texas is not bigger than everything. I guess American’s don’t really know what BIG is. So I guess when American women use the phrase “Sizes Matters” they don’t really understand the full depth of the situation, even Texan women!!

Are you not yet convinced that not everything is bigger in Texas? Here’s the clincher, thirty odd years ago my grand parents bought a genuine Texas cowboy hat back for my Dad. (What are they called? 3 gallon hats? Maybe 4 gallon? 🙂 ). The hat has never been worn because even 30 years ago the mighty Texan hat was not big enough to fit anyone we knew.

The conclusion of that is of course they we have bigger heads but lets face it we choose to live in Australia that already proves we have more brains!!

*Authors note: If any of my Texas friends are offended by this they really aren’t my friends because they know I’m silly enough to post something like this. 😛
If anyone who is not my friend is offended send complaints to someone in Texas.


  1. Haha- I needed this laugh. So funny. (Then again- I am Canadian…..) Great post!

  2. lol … I’m not offended, this is something a Texan would write. You’re hilarious. I loved the map of Australia over the top of the US. That’s an awesome visual. Honestly, I think the saying “everything is bigger in Texas,” was meant in relation to other states within the continental US. People in the states up north don’t always realize you can drive for 10 hours and never leave Texas. It is a big state with a lot of big hearted people. Maybe it’s good we don’t have big heads. ❤️. : )

    • I knew you wouldn’t be offended, you are an honorary Aussie after all 🙂

      I’m not exactly sure how the two countries compare overlaid but I did see that overlaid image on a government funded website so I guess there could be some truth to it given how little there is difference in the land sizes.

      Things are a little different here. For instance it would take 15+ hours to go from one side of Victoria to the other on a single highway but that’s because there is probably 50+ towns on that highway, were as a state like WA, we cross (down near the bottom end) in about 10 hours, the distance is further but there is a lot less towns.

      It’s as far from Melbourne to Brisbane as it is from Brisbane to the top end (about 3000ks) but the two trips are vastly different in time and Brisbane to the top end is one state, Brisbane to Melb is three states.

      Out in the middle camels our number people about 20 to 1.

      I don’t mind a big heart even if your hats are too small 🙂

  3. In Wyoming it’s a ten gallon hat, although I’ve never actually seen one. We travelled across TX every which way and believe me you can go at least eight hundred miles never seeing a town.

    • I know it’s a ten gallon hat I was being silly for the sake of it.

      And Tanami Highway, or the Canning Stock Route and you can go three days without seeing anyone let a lone a town.

      Post was only a piss take of things to play with my Texan friends, I didn’t confirm any of the supposed facts and they wouldn’t have expected me too

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