Cooking, Daily Prompt, humor, Music, poetry, writing

In The Gravy

bad poetry

Ok since WordPress is being a little bitch to me and I’m not in the mood to play the little bitch’s game I decided to stay in the kitchen and run with another idea for the requested theme instead of running with another story.

This one probably isn’t as good as the last and I might be descend into a pit of laziness but honestly it’s Saturday night and the fuck jar is kind of empty.

In the Gravy.

It’s where can you find pleasure in a liquid measure
Using food technology
Be if for cold meat or be it just for a chicken stew
On the beans or on the peas
Pour in a big meat pie, sauce it up and come alive
Make enough just to appease.
Mix it all by your hand, just don’t make it too bland
When you pour it on your meat.

Mix the gravy
Yes, you can pour it on your peas
Mix the gravy
Yes, you can mix it with some cheese
Mix the gravy

Come on people, pour and then let stand
Mix the gravy, Mix the gravy
Ask us if you need a hand
Mix the gravy

We don’t trust it if it’s canned
Mix the gravy
Come on, think of your fellow man
Mix the gravy
Come on, people make it grand

Mix the gravy, mix the gravy, mix the gravy, oh
They want stew, they want stew
They want stew and not grape fruit

If you like a kicker, mix in some hard liquor
Don’t drink if from the mixing jug
Don’t you hesitate, just get it on the plate
Don’t stand there looking oh so smug

Cause you are lazy your wont join the navy
But don’t you worry ‘bout a thing
For I’m sure there will be always a good gravy
Covering your ham and peas.

Mix the gravy
Yes, you can pour it on your peas
Mix the gravy
Yes, you can mix it with some cheese
Mix the gravy

Come on people, pour and then let stand
Mix the gravy, Mix the gravy
Ask us if you need a hand
Mix the gravy

We don’t trust it if it’s canned
Mix the gravy
Come on, think of your fellow man
Mix the gravy
Come on, people make it grand

Mix the gravy, mix the gravy, mix the gravy, oh
They want stew, they want stew
They want stew and not grape fruit

Who me?

They want stew, they want stew
They want stew and not grape fruit

But, but, but, I will turn to water
Hey, use the can
I’ll make you sick or even give you TB
They want stew, they want stew, mix the gravy

Oh my goodness
They want stew
Taste my food and they’ll need to remove your spleen
They want stew
They want stew, they want stew, mix the gravy
Mix the gravy
Yes, you can mush your minted peas
Mix the gravy
Yes, you can cover it in cheese
Mix the gravy
Come on people pout and let it stand
Mix the gravy, mix the gravy
Don’t you dare make it so bland
Mix the gravy
Come on, it better no be canned
Mix the gravy
Come on and feed your fellow man
Mix the gravy
Come on lets pour it on a flan!

52 Comments

  1. Sounds interesting..It’s something like music rythms, maybe I’m wrong…

  2. Lol …. “pour it on your meat” brought a laugh. Sometimes your posts freak my brain. Would you mind if I wrote something using your kitchen posts? I’m not sure what yet, but they are inspiring something silly.
    Hugz for your WP issues.

  3. You may be a great cook, in any sense of the word, but a songwriter?

    • Awe c’mon the Village People couldn’t have written in better themselves.

      At least I refrained from
      “In the Navy
      You can get down on your knees
      In the Navy
      You can get a bad disease”

      • I like that song, not for the words, but the presentation. I think you need to stick to what you know best, writing. I wondered what took you so long

        • While wordpress fucks me around there is hardly much point writing. Weekends are slow anyway. But I’m an unbelievably gifted poet with talent and a flair that needs to be exposed. Deconstruction other people’s songs seems like a really good path to follow.
          I’m not sure what song I’ll put in the kitchen tonight.

          • Omg, a monsters been created. Where is Dean when we need her? She’ll talk some sense into you. Exactly what is WP doing?

            • The monster was created long ago. I’ve been deconstucting songs and writing stupid poems for ages. There is no new monster.

              WP and its spam filters are bullshit, and the wildly co-incidental fact that yet again when I post anything with a reference to their fuck-uppery, I start disappearing form the prompt page, random peoples readers and random peoples comments.

          • Unbelievably gifted? Don’t be modest : p

            • I wasn’t, I was being honest.

              Maybe tonight I’ll make a poem about runny eggs

                • I’ll even add pictures

                  • Oh goody, my mouth is watering as we write : p

                    • I can tell, wonderful poetry and pictures to match and I’ll do it every day for a month.

                    • I can tell you are excited.

                    • I wonder if the white coat squad has your address, ….oh what am I thinking? Of course they do

                    • There was just a knock at the door I didn’t answer it in case it was them.

                    • No too soon. They’ve been monitoring your mail and WP comments. It will take them a while to regroup since they are after all, a government agency

                    • In this country we privatise everything, mental health is one of the latest things they want to dump onto the private sector so it might be them proving they are efficient enough to get the contract.

                    • I guess you would know. I just received a questionnaire from the National committee to preserve social security and Medicare to fill out and can send in with no donation, which I wouldn’t anyway. Tried to find them at the BBB but nothing. Probably no harm in filling it out. I know why I received it. I wrote emails to the WY representatives

                    • It’s ok it wasn’t the white coats, it was my brother, if they haven’t caught him out the front of my house and locked him up then there is no way they are getting me.

                    • Didnt know you had a brother, so youre not one of a kind after all

                    • Oh yeah I am, he’s nothing like me. The only things we have in common other than a name and that we both have two girls is that the same job made us both bait for the white coats.

                    • Was he a driver too

                    • Yeah he quit two weeks before I got injured. The boss lost the only two workers that gave a shit about his company at almost the same time and he got really shitty about it. He couldn’t do anything to my brother because he had another job but because I was injured and couldn’t work he and the insurance company screwed around for nearly 9 months before they accepted my surgery was their responsibility. Then during recovery he made life even harder for me including calling the cops on me for breaking and entering and theft from the depot.

                    • Nice guy, but did you do the deed?

                    • Well for starters I didn’t need to break and enter, I had keys to the place, but secondly the day the dickhead told the cops the supposed crime happened was two days after I had the op. The cops didn’t even ask to see evidence of the op when the were standing at my door and I was still in a sling.

                    • What a pita! Too bad you weren’t rich, you could sue him for false accusation, defamation of character, and civil disobedience, the last one might be a stretch

                    • Suing is more of an American thing, very few in this country would ever sue for false accusations or defamation.

                      Unless the guy took out an ad in the local paper his defamation is no worse than the names I’ve called him before and after the accident.

                    • Yes it is, calling the cops? But you’re right, people here sue for everything. I was sued years ago, they lost. The DA got them, no cigs to me.

                    • Reporting a person for a crime even if they didn’t do its isn’t defamation, at least not in this country. It’s telling the cops a crime was committed and you suspect someone. If the guy spread the rumour in any way shape or form and I could prove that it somehow tarnished the way people see me I could possibly get defamation but even then proving it would be difficult unless he was recorded saying it.

                    • What’s for dinner? Not runny eggs I hope! Just made a spice cake, was going to frost it, no ingredients. Used whip cream instead. Yum

                    • Dinner? It’s only just lunch time and I haven’t even got anything for dinner out of the freezer.

                      We’ve had enough cakes this week, but thanks for offering 😛

  4. Love it. The original VP song will never be the same again.

    • Apologies stupid WordPress spammed your comment and I didn’t see it.

      I have to admit I’ve been singing In The Gravy since Rodney Rude did his short version of In the Navy, but until now I have never had the inclination to re-write it fully. 🙂

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