Daily Prompt, humor, poetry, writing

You asked for a root.

bad poetry

Now they are just asking for something R-Rated
Their prompt for the day definitely seems weighted
They want us to write about our forbidden fruits
The perverted bastards want to read about our best roots

They want to read all about our favourite sexual encounter
I wonder if there is anyone out there having sex with a flounder
Rumpy pumpy with fish would surely be a winner
Those reading the prompts would become big grinners

How about those people that have a quiet sex life
They could ramp things up and pretend they scream like a fife
But at the end of the day those that grade all that we text
Wont grade something high that does not keep them perplexed

So if your sex life sees you hanging off the chandelier
Naked or dressed does not matter if you’re holding a beer.
You’ve got a good chance of getting passed by the checkers.
While they read all your words and hold onto their peckers

The same goes for you lovelies who enjoy a quick whip
Whip, slip, rub, slide or glide just don’t tighten your grip
The faster it happens the quicker the judges score
But be sure not to call them a smut loving whore

Liven things up and take a shot of yourself wearing sexy knickers
And in the prompt room today all that will be heard is some snickers
Just be sure that they come off for the all important root
And the prompt makers will definitely need go into mute

Maybe you could show off that wonderfully gorgeous corset
The boys in the prompt room will be dribbling like a broken faucet
While the girls will be jealous looking to make sure you not cheat
They’ll be looking for root but the boys will be beat.

Hang on a second, maybe I have it all wrong
They really do want to see a big dong
But not for the pleasures or for the frights
It’s because they want to delete all of our sites.

Delete all the sites because they’re full of smut
While they sit there panting and eating a doughnut
But it is all their fault because they wanted to shoot
And instead of a nice word they use the word root.

5 Comments

  1. I had to bite my knuckle to keep from actually laughing out loud! Bravo!

  2. Lol …. you are so funny! Maybe this is a cultural thing, but, apparently, I don’t associate root the same as you. I think you just enlighten me, or frightened me …. I’m not sure which? Although the photo was soil, I was thinking root words, I think you had a few in that post. I also think I have a few new brain pathways, no before used…. giggle ….. : )

    • Root had always been a slag term for sex here, most kids probably learn it before they understand the word fuck. I know in the US it’s often used to suggest you support a person or team but we just support them in a different way.

      Supporting one person is ok but if you support the whole team like a friend of mine did in the early eighties when the West Indies cricket team were in town you risk getting called something else.

      There is no need to be frightened of a root, well not if it’s done right. The key is telling the rooter that they did ok, or instructing them on how to do better. Staying silent and talking to your friends about it doesn’t make for a good root.

      The picture was probably put in to stop anyone but the yanks thinking of sex because I believe the US is one of the only places root isn’t a generic term for sex. But just like WP ignore users I ignore them.

      If you like it I’ll introduce to a mate of mine, we call him Wombat because he eats roots and leaves. He’s got a dog named Herpies because he just wont heel. Then there is Bulldozer, he goes to a dance digs up a root and then leaves. Ok I’ll stop now.

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