Daily Prompt, events, folk metal, heavy metal, humor, pirate metal, pirates, serial fiction, writing

The Pirate Captain: Wenches And Mead

The good pirate and his avid crew of merry mischief makers were coming to the end of a very long month of fighting, training and looting. They were rich beyond their wildest dreams, the castle in the air having to be extended twice just to hold the looty of booty the two crews had pillaged and plundered. Both ships, the Privateer and the Revenge sat moored to the dock, stocked, armed and ready to sail at the drop of a big black pirate hat.

“You know, one day when your battle ship armada is complete you’re going to have to change the names of these two.” The fair maiden said to the good captain pointing down to the docks as they stood on the balcony.

“Huh?” The good pirate captain replied lost in his own thoughts.

“The Revenge might be ok in an armada but you can’t really keep calling yourself a Privateer when there is an entire fleet sailing under your ensign.” The fair maiden replied.

“Why not?” Although the good pirate captain answered the fair maiden could tell he wasn’t paying the conversation his full attention.

“Can you really be a Privateer when you own a hundred ships?” she said as she moved closer to him.

“Guess not!”

“What is on your mind my dear?” the good maiden asked realising that her conversation about ship names was not enough to break whatever trance he was under.

“Of course my dear.” replied the captain.

This time instead of just talking the fair maiden slipped her left arm in between his right arm and his body and pulled herself gently towards him. Snuggling into his arm and tried again.

“My dear what is on your mind?”

He finally snapped out of his own thoughts and spoke. “’Tis be a long month me dear, th’ crew have be sailin’ harrrd, they have proven themselves I reckon ‘tis the hour they were rewarded. ”

“They have been rewarded, they are all rich, something they wouldn’t be under the guidance of any other pirate captain. What else can we reward them with?”

The pirate captain didn’t even think about his answer, “Nancy’s.”


“Now!” the pirate captain replied.

“But it’s only just gone lunch my dear, is it not to early for Nancy Tavern?”

“’Tis never too early fer Nancy’s!”

“Attention crew!” the good captain called he was walked hand in hand with his fair maiden onto the jetty where his two ships were moored and the crew busied themselves.

The crew of pirates all slowly came to attention, those working on deck called to those working below deck, tools were dropped, jobs were forgone and the entire crew all amassed on the decks and the docks ready to listen to their pirate captain as he spoke.

“It has be a long month, ye have all met me call ‘n exceeded me expectations. Ye have be rewarded handsomely. However now be th’ the hour to be rewarded in a different way. Finish ye jobs fer soon we all be celebratin’ at Nancy’s! ”

Before walking from the the docks the good captain grabbed two of his men and gave them a job, a job that entailed them grabbing a wheel barrow each and disappearing into the castle. An hour later the entire crew of more than 400 men, two wheeling wheel barrows with small covered piles in them, stood on the dock. Swords were sheathed in their scabbards, knives hung on belts and guns were holstered as each and every pirate stood waiting for the good captain to escort them to Nancy’s tavern.

Several minutes later the volume of the chatter had risen to a dull roar as the excited crew edged closer to an evening of relaxation and drinking. The good pirate captain and his fair maiden stepped out of the castle in the air. The captain dressed in his usual captain’s jacket while the good maiden looked resplendent in her bright blue dress, from the door of the castle they could see the crew standing in wait for them. As the captain and maiden wandered down the stone cobbled path from the door they could hear the excited crew beginning to chant.

“We want more wenches.
More wenches n mead.
Lots o’ wenches is what we need!”

“’Tis goin’ to be a long night!” the captain said as they approached the crowd of thirty pirates.

The good pirate captain and Nancy the tavern wench had a long history, he’d been drinking at Nancy’s since he was a wee squirt of a pirate, he called her an old hag and she called him Rummenhaggle in reference to his first purchase of rum in the tavern where he haggled for a higher buying price than Nancy charged. It was a relationship that had been good for both and a relationship that the good captain knew he could call on, for a price.

When they arrived at the tavern the good captain and his fair maiden walked in through the doors first, closely followed by the two pirates pushing the mounded wheel barrows.

“Nancy, me old hag!” the good captain called as he walked towards the bar.

“Rummenhaggle me old salt!” Nancy turned to her barmaid and added. “Looks like they are sweeping the street again, look what trash blew through the door!”

Because of the early hour of the day the tavern was relatively empty, something that would make the good captain’s request easier for Nancy to accept.

“Quit wit’ th’ compliments ye barnacle-covered hag! I got a proposition fer ye.” the good captain said.

“Ye be goin’ to proposition me? wit’ ye fair maiden present? I’m not that kind ‘o gal!”

There was a quiet rumble of laughter from behind the captain. “Not that kind ‘o proposition ye barnacle-covered temptress, I have a proposition ‘o another kind.”

“Well out wit’ it. Let’s hear ’tis proposition young Rummenhaggle.”

The good captain cleared his throat and at the top of his voice said. “These here ‘barrows of jewels are yours me lovely old hag, in return for the priority use of this den of debauchery for the night, for just me and me men!”

As the two wheel barrow pushing pirates took the covers off the barrows and revealed two piles of gold and silver jewellery with gleaming gems Nancy leant over the bar and spied the booty. “Me scrawny wee Rummenhaggle ye don’t have to use such lovely words to have me agree wit’ ye terms, that thar treasure does it fer ye.” Then to the rest of the bar she called out. “Anyone not apart ‘o Rummenhaggle’s crew be leavin’ th’ tavern. NOW !”

The good captain’s crew quickly filled the two story tavern, men sat by the bar drinking, sat at tables drinking, stood drinking, anywhere they could drink their drinks a man was located. The tavern itself was large but with more than 400 crew members it was well beyond crowded, but not a single man went thirsty.

Through the evening the crew could be heard chanting

“We want more wenches.
More wenches n mead.
Lots o’ wenches is what we need!”

By the time the good captain and his fair maiden were ready to retire back to the castle the crew’s wishes were being more than fulfilled.

“We bein’ headin’ off Nancy,” the good captain said across the bar several hours after midnight. “I trust th’ lovely booty we delivered be more than ‘nough to cover ’tis bawdy lot ’til it’s the hour to be off home?”

Nancy answered in the affirmative and the good captain and his fair maiden headed for the door. On their way out he spoke to the second captain and reminded him to ensure the crew treated Nancy, her wenches and the tavern as if they were their own, it probably wasn’t needed but he felt like it was justified. The happy couple then disappeared outside into the darkness of night and walked home.

Previous Pirate story here.

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