So I’ve now explained to you why Lemmy and the boys needed me in Angel City and what my role around the place would be. I know there is still a few blank spots in the story that I can’t explain like the never ending Jack Daniels glasses and smoke packets, the lack of side effects from those things and how three dead rock and rollers from the same band ended up in this place. Actually I guess I could have just said “I don’t understand this place,” but that wouldn’t have sounded very hopeful would it. At least you are no longer confused.
Once we left the dinning room I asked Lemmy, well all three of them, what they did around the place all day.
“Lemmy Goes To The Pub!” Würzel said, the reference to the song of the same name which was an alternate version of their 1982 song Heart Of Stone not lost on me.
“And then he comes Back To The Funny Farm.” Philthy added making reference to the band’s 1983 song of that name. “Is that right Lem?”
“Dead Men Tell No Tales.” Lemmy replied quoting yet another song title.
“Oh geezzus you three!” I said with a huge grin on my face.
“We could do this all day!” Philthy replied.
With 22 albums in the Motorhead discography I didn’t doubt that they could speak in song titles all day but as much as that seemed like a fun competition I had a job to do, as you now know, and I figured I probably should get on with it.
When the laughter gave way to quiet chuckles, that’s right even heavy metal legends chuckle, Lemmy told me how he managed to get himself to the pub and general store. To be honest I actually expected an answer like “Riding With The Driver” or maybe that he drove with “Doctor Rock,” in his “Mean Machine,” all songs titles from the 1986 Orgasmatron album but it appeared even Lemmy had had enough of that game.
The four of us wandered back along the hallway towards the entrance foyer and when we got the to front door Würzel and Philthy bid us farwell and went their separate ways, Philthy up stairs and Würzel towards the cinema. Neither of them offered any hint as to what they were going off to do and I didn’t ask.
“So what do you guys do around here all day?” I asked.
“Whatever the hell we want!” Lemmy replied in his gravely English accent with an added laugh at the end. He must have seen a bit of frustration on my face, I did try not to show it but I guess the way my questions were getting answered was showing because Lemmy then added. “Seriously man! We do whatever the hell we want. I don’t really ask them what they do and they don’t ask me.”
“Do you do things together?” I asked somewhat relieved to get an answer from my last question and trying for another.
“Yeah at times. None of us are ever far away if we want each other and nothing ever ‘needs’ doing so apart from the nightly gigs togetherness isn’t something that has to happen.” He highlighted the word needs with air quotes.
With the other two guys wandering off by themselves I felt a bit like Lemmy was babysitting me and I wasn’t sure if that what he had in mind for his day or not. I was just about to speak and suggest he didn’t need to babysit me when he continued the previous conversation.
“Chances are Würzel will be off watching bloody Worzel Guummidge,” Lemmy said with smile.
“Your shitting me!” I replied knowing the source of Würzel’s nickname was the character from the TV show Worzel Gummidge. It was a name given to him when he was a corporal in the Army before joining Motorhead and had been adapted to include the U with the umlaut as suggested by Lemmy because it looked more “heavy metal.”
“Yeah probably.” Lemmy laughed. “To be honest I have no idea what he does half the time but thinking he spends all his time watching that TV show so he can match his hair perfectly to the scarecrow does make me laugh!”
“Dare I ask what Philthy does?”
“Just think of him sitting behind the drunk kit all day practising, it’s probably a more pleasant thought than what he actually does.”
I figured that was as good of an answer as anything so I decided not to push Lemmy on a real answer. It was at that moment something hit me and although I figured it was a bit of a private topic I hadn’t been told off for asking anything else so I figured I’d ask it anyway, after all what’s the worst that could happen, Lemmy answered me in another joke.
“Hey Lemmy, tell me to rack off with the question if you like.”
“Rack off with the question!” Lemmy butted in quickly before telling me to continue.
“Before you died there was hardly a story that was written about you that didn’t make reference to the Jack Daniels, smokes and amphetamines. Now I know about the JD and the smokes but I haven’t see you use any drugs since I got here. Can’t you get the stuff here?”
Lemmy didn’t even take time to think of his answer. “It’s Angel City man, we can get anything.”
“So you choose not too?”
“No point man. Just like the Jack and smokes don’t have any effect, positive or negative, neither do the drugs. I like drinking Jack and smoking, but without the buzz of the dope there is nothing, therefore no point wasting time doing it.”
That sounded fair to me, I hadn’t ever been a big drug user but nothing I’d ever had in my time was done for the taste. There was obvious pleasure with some drug taking but to me it was never like sitting down and having a drink or a smoke.
I still felt a bit like Lemmy was baby sitting me and that I could have been holding him back from something he wanted to do so it was at that moment I decided I probably should head home, my home, and get started on the jobs I had to do.
“I guess I should be heading back soon. I’ve got a lot of things to organise.”
“Whatever man! You’re welcome to do what ever you like.”
My mind was made up, I needed to go home. “Do you want a lift to the pub or anything?”
“No thanks, not today”
“No worries. Where will I find my car?” I asked.
“At the front door.” Lemmy answered as is it was a stupid question to ask. It was then that I remembered everything in Angel City appeared when and where I needed it so his answer was more than likely right and it was a stupid question.
I actually resisted the urge to walk straight to the door and check to see if my car was in the driveway but I didn’t know what else to do.
“Go on, you know you want to check too see if I am right!” Lemmy said breaking my train of thought.
“Nah it’s ok I trust you.”
“Of course you do, buy you know you want to check anyway.”
Dammit, he was bloody right!