“Well let me assure you that you aren’t dead.” Lemmy Kilmister said to me as he sat down next to me and dragged his glass of Jack Daniels and coke towards him.
For those that haven’t caught up I was sitting at a bar, a replica of the Rainbow Bar in West Hollywood but we were in a huge mansion and that mansion was in a place called Angel City. The two men either side of me were two of the three dead members of the hugely successful band Motorhead, Lemmy Kilmister and Michael ‘Würzel’ Burston, while Philthy Animal Taylor was somewhere else within the mansion. We had cigarette packets that refilled themselves as soon as a smoke was removed and we had drinks that were replenished every time we blinked, but apparently aside from all that I wasn’t dead. I guess the was some relief.
Lemmy savoured another mouthful of his drink. “Shit I missed these the last few years!” Although he was famous for drinking a bottle of Jack Daniels everyday for the last forty years about three years before his death Lemmy gave up drinking JD upon doctors orders and apparently he missed them.
“So why am I here? How am I here? Where is here exactly?” I asked.
“Simplest answer to that,” Lemmy started, “is because I needed a ride home and if you didn’t notice there wasn’t many people in town when you were there.”
I did notice that. “Why didn’t you get Ross from the pub to drive you? Or drive yourself maybe? How did you even get there without a car?” I asked not stopping between questions.
Lemmy shrugged his shoulders but didn’t say anything Würzel spoke instead. “Like Lem’s ever going to get himself a bloody car!” It was obviously an in joke between them because Lemmy laughed too.
“There is some things we just can’t answer,” Lemmy said when he stopped laughing.
“And some we wont tell!” Philthy said walking up to the bar and grabbing a drink that had been poured for him by someone I hadn’t seen.
“You guys do realise just how strange this all looks don’t you?” I asked, they all nodded but didn’t answer.
“We don’t know why things like smokes and booze, or food for that matter don’t run out, we don’t know why they don’t have the same effect here as back there. We assume its got something to do with us being dead, but that doesn’t explain why the same happens with visitors.” Lemmy said holding onto his glass ensuring it did not get refilled.
“So what were you doing in town?” I asked.
“Getting smokes.” Lemmy answered.
Given that the packet of smokes I was currently taking a smoke from was still full, despite myself alone probably going through a quarter of a packet since I found out I could smoke without any repercussions I was still having trouble figuring out why Lemmy was buying a packet of smokes.
“Nothing makes sense,” I said, “about the only explainable reason for all this is that it’s a dream. But you,” I looked at Lemmy, “already told me it wasn’t. Then again if I was in a dream that would be the most logical thing for you to say wouldn’t it?”
“It’s not a dream, man.” Würzel said.
The conversation was just going around in circles, I wasn’t getting any answers as to why I was there or where ‘there’ was exactly yet strangely enough not having the answers was somewhat more satisfying than having them. The truth was I was intrigued, very intrigued, by everything around me but not knowing the truth had an appeal, kind of like thinking there is a ghost in your house but not wanting to prove it.
“So what am I suppose to do?” I asked.
“What do you mean?” Philthy answered my question with a question.
I looked at Phil and took a swig of my drink before speaking. “As much as I really don’t mind giving Lemmy a ride back here, what else am I here for. I mean sure I could be your taxi driver forever and a day but in the real world I have a job, people who will miss me when I don’t come back.”
“Nah that’s not going to be an issue.” Lemmy said in his gravely voice. “Time here doesn’t move the same as it does back there. It’s another one of those weird anomalies. Whenever you leave here the second you drive back through those trees we went through time returns to the point where you left it.”
Lemmy could obviously see confusion on my face, he might even have picked up that I was about to ask how it was that with someone like me, a real person, that time returned to when we entered but the same didn’t happen to him. He’d obviously been asked the question before because without me needing to answer he suggested the difference was that he didn’t arrive in Angel City via the unnamed town.
Between the three of them they went on to explain a few other instances where they had visitors. There was the A&R rep that only appeared to want to make money from the three dead members recording some songs. There was a woman who arrived and was so star struck all she wanted to do was have a baby with Lemmy, when that was refused she made the offer to both Philthy and Würzel, they both refused too not just because of the immoral act but because none of them were sure what might happen to a baby, unborn or not, travelling through the trees. There was also a man who figured for his rides he deserved drum lessons.
“Yep, we’ve had a few classics,” Philthy said with a smile.
“How do you stop these people spreading stories when they go back through?” I asked wondering what fate awaited me.
“No idea, whatever it is that happens seems to only happen on the person’s final visit. We never see them again obviously but they seem to have their memory of the place wiped. Whatever force is controlling this place is a lot more powerful than we’ve ever known about.” Lemmy said.
“So if I fuck up or something I’ll forget the place exists when I get back on the highway?” I asked.
“Something like that.” Lemmy said.
“Well that’s something to look forward too,” I said sarcastically.
Lemmy looked at the clock on the wall. “It’s nearly time, we’ll discuss your uses more tomorrow but we have to go and prepare now.”
”Prepare for what?” I asked.
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