So there I was standing in the largest foyer of the largest mansion I had ever seen. Ian ‘Lemmy’ Kilmister, was standing to my right, Michael ‘Würzel’ Burston was to my left and I had travelled through a wall in a line of trees that lead to a bright light and further into a place Lemmy had called Angel City, (read back if you need to know the thrill a minute action packed full story).
Now I know what you’re thinking, you are thinking that somewhere on my trip around the lovely state of Victoria I fell asleep, or I had a meal of mushrooms of the magic variety and what I was seeing was a dream or hallucination of some sort because Lemmy died in 2015 and Würzel died in 2011 and trips through trees don’t send people to cities named after Motorhead songs. But I swear to you even if I might have had my
doubts this is the god’s honest truth, remember the movie Airheads? “Lemmy is God!”
(I know these are world known facts of such importance that they are taught in schools today but I am just elaborating a bit for those coming in late)
Back to the mansion. I was standing in a foyer that resembled that of the foyer/entrance way to the house in the Osbourne’s reality show, only it was about three times the size of that. The floor was tiled as far as I could see, there was floor rugs that were bigger than my bed at home scattered on the floor. There was a huge curving stair case on both my left and right, they both led to the same up stairs level. The bannisters of the stair cases appeared to be made from stone with intricately carved figure heads at the top and bottom. At the base of each stairway way there was a hallway leading off to the left and right respectively, I could see nothing but darkness down each one. In front of me the wide hallways had doors both left and right which were closed and it led, eventually, to a huge set of double glass doors.
Oh yeah I mentioned that I was blown away, as if the size of the place wasn’t enough to blow a person away. But it’s true there was one more sight that I was not prepared for, although in hind sight maybe I should have been. There we were standing in the foyer of the largest mansion I had ever seen and a voice came out of the darkened hallway to my left.
“Hello fellas. Dragged another stray ‘ome have ya’ Lem?”
I turned suddenly at the sound of the voice and as I did I saw a figure come out of the darkness. The scraggly dark brown hair that looked like it had never seen a hair brush and the Frank Zappa like moustache were unmistakable, the Motorhead T-shirt just confirmed it. Standing to my left and asking who I was, was Philip John Taylor, otherwise known as Philthy Animal Motorhead drummer of 15 years during the 70’s, 80’s and 90’s.
Although Phil was long out of the band when he died in 2015 he and Lemmy had remained friends and upon his death Lemmy had said of his former band mate:
“Now he’s died and it really pisses me off that they take somebody like him and leave George Bush alive.”
He also added:
“We’re (Motorhead) still going, we’re still going strong, it’s just first Wurzel and now Philthy, it’s a shame man. I think this rock’n’roll business might be bad for the human life.”
Seven months later Lemmy himself died and here I was eighteen months later standing in the world’s biggest mansion and all three of the Motorhead legends were standing before me. Talk about a mind rush, magic mushrooms had nothing on what my mind was seeing!
“Phil here,” Lemmy pointed at me and spoke in that famous gravelly British accident. “was nice enough to give me a ride back from the pub.”
I wanted to ask Lemmy how he got to the pub especially given the time we spent in the car just getting back to the mansion but I figured that wasn’t the right time.
“Pleased to meet you Phil,” Philthy said to me as he approached with his hand out to shake mine.
Although I’d seen hundreds of pictures of Phil Taylor over the years I still looked at the man standing in front of me and was surprised that such a rough, tough looking guy could be so polite. We shook hands.
“Great to meet you!” I said.
An hour later I was sitting at a bar with a Jack and Coke in front of me, I wasn’t sure where Philthy was but Würzel was on the seat next to me nursing his own drink and Lemmy was sitting at a video poker machine. I’d never been to the Rainbow Bar and Grill in West Hollywood but I’d seen pictures and while the room we were sitting in wasn’t a direct replica of the bar Lemmy spent every day when he was off tour in it did resembled the pictures I’d seen and the video poker machine at which Lemmy sat was exactly the same.
“So how the hell does this all work? I asked Würzel.
“No fuckin’ idea man, just does.” he answered before sipping his drink.
There was no one serving the bar and no one cleaning up empty glasses, there didn’t need to be, every time I put my glass down and turned my head the glass was topped back up as if it was a new drink. At one point I tried to stare at the glass after I put it down but I couldn’t do it, some invisible force made me turn my head.
The music playing on the sound system was a band I didn’t recognise, they were ok but probably not something I’d have picked up if I saw it on the shelf. It was a band called Barb Wire Dolls I knew they were on the Motorhead Music recording label and that before Lemmy had died they were a band he was impressed by.
Würzel wasn’t big on conversation and although reports had always said Lemmy was happy to talk to anyone, even whilst he was playing his video poker machine down at the Rainbow, I didn’t feel comfortable interrupting him. A few moments later the music lowered in volume.
“What’s on your mind Phil?” Lemmy called without turning away from his machine, almost like he’d been reading my mind.
Würzel had already told me he didn’t know what was going on and Lemmy had said something similar in the car so I figured asking questions like that wasn’t worth it no matter how much I wanted to know them. I briefly thought about asking why and how Lemmy got to the town I spotted him in and why he’d chosen me to give him a ride but I decided against it given the responses I’d already had.
“So what do you do around here other than drink and smoke?”
It wasn’t the best thought out question but it was all I had on short noticed and despite Lemmy’s already suggesting that cigarettes in Angel City didn’t have the same lethal effects as they did in the real world I was noticing their addictive qualities were all there.
Lemmy got up from the machine he was playing and walked towards the bar. When he reached between Würzel and I, I turned to the bar as well. It was then I noticed not only had my drink been refilled and a new glass was on the bar for Lemmy but a packet of Marlboro’s and a cigarette lighter were sitting next to my glass. This place was truly strange!
“We don’t get sick, we don’t get drunk, but we have all the pleasurable effects of our addictions. Who wants more from life, or death.” Lemmy answered me as he took his glass.
“Ok well this place is sounding more inviting as time moves along, maybe I might move her myself!” I replied. Both Würzel and Lemmy laughed. “What’s so funny?”
“Man you gotta be dead to live in Angel City!” Würzel said without smiling.
I pointed out that I was not actually dead, or at least I wasn’t dead before leaving the pub back in the unnamed town. It was then things took a major turn as Lemmy pulled up a Jack Daniels stool on my left and began telling me the story why he invited me back to Angel City.
Previous episodes here.