Daily Prompt, humor, poetry, thoughts, writing

The Husband’s Curse

bad poetry

Five years of wedded bliss
The next thirty were so hit and miss
So few cheers so few wows
But still he kept those wedding vows

Laying on his own death bed
He lay in peace not a tear was shed
He looked his wife right in the eyes
“Come closer Joan I shall tell no lies”

“Throughout the years of our long marriage
Your were always there to argue and disparage
Always wrong could never have my say
Never won an argument ’twas always your way.”

“Ten years into our wedded courtship
I tripped and fell and broke my hip
I’d started out in the very top stair
I then fell down but you were there.”

“Then when our daughter got her diploma
It was the year that I ended up in a coma
We bent over and our heads did collide
But once again your were there by my side”

“And then there was the day of my heart attack
I hit the floor when my legs went slack
I was out like a light, couldn’t hear, couldn’t see
And once again you were there beside me”

“For all these years you’ve always been close
For all these years you’ve been appose
Now as you’re ready to call in the hearse
I’m telling you Joan, you’re a fucking curse!”

It was at the very moment when Jack’s heart stopped
His nagging wife gave up hope, thought he had finally flopped
She screamed and cursed at him for leaving her behind
The moment the monitors showed he had flatlined

The doctors puffed in breath and worked upon his chest
They used the defib machine and never took a rest
Five minutes later Jack’s heart kicked into gear
He’d been brought back to life for another beer

When he came to he asked for juice in a carafe
Then before it was delivered he started to laugh
“What is it dear? What is so damn funny?”
Joan said with concern and she looked at her honey

“For more than thirty years you treated me like a sheep
And through out all the time our wedding vows I did keep
You abused me and teased me and made my life hell
A damn witch you were and on me you cast a bad spell”

“But now that I have died those vows have no force
That’s right you evil woman I want a divorce”
“You can’t do that.” Screamed his cranky wife
“Your married to me for the rest of your life.”

“Correction old hag it was the life I last had.”
“I’ve been brought back to life and you bet I am glad”
“Dead for five minutes ‘till my heart was restart”
“And our wedding vows were ‘till death do us part!”

32 Comments

  1. WOW why am I laughing so hard!!!! Probably, cause I didn’t think of that first! Good one!!! -Bruce

  2. Absolutely loved this! Wish I’d thought of that when I died a few years ago!

  3. I was in the living room, and I hear Hubby’s big belly laugh coming from the office. He was reading this. The old jokes are the best.

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