Daily Prompt, humor, poetry, thoughts, writing

I’m being forced to watch Married At First Sight!

bad poetry

Oh my god it’s happening every bloody night
I’m being forced to watch Married At First Sight
TV on, tied to the chair, eyes facing forward
I know what to do, I obey and follow as ordered

For those that don’t know what this show’s about
Two strangers first meet and get to freak out
For on their first date they become very harried
Cause some shrink decided they should be married

To be honest this show is a barrel of laughs
I’ve seen more intelligence in newborn calves
Some of these contestants are so damn stupid
I’m sure their heads must have been looted.

There’s a male stripper who wants small ear lobes
He’s got the charisma of a pair of brogues
His comedian wife about as funny as pantihose
But they do both share the ski jump type nose

Then there’s the woman who thinks it’s a competition
It’s like the silly girl was not present at the audition
She been assigned her stray bloke from the main pack
But she’s thinks every woman will knife her in the back

There’s also Amazon girl who is freakishly tall
Her old man thinks he’s the life of every ball
The main thing she wanted was a cute man with height
What she got for her troubles was a wee man so slight.

Oh and one should not forget the in-laws and friends
Talk about riff raff they are the worst odd and ends
From the paranoid mother-in-law to the crazy ex
Some parents out there that should’ve never had sex

The producers have really pulled out all stops
Their only problem so far, the characters are flops
But they’ll cut it together and think they all deserve passes
When all they have done is make the contestants all arses

So here I have to sit lashed and roped to the chair
Because my wife’s TV viewing I do wish to share.
We laugh and we mock at every single pairing
Because I’m tied to the chair I spend my time staring

It’s not that bad sitting in front of the TV together
Everything said on the screen we just think is blether
I enjoy her laughter and I laugh at her put downs
We both agree that the show is full of clowns.

But every time I see one thing I can’t help but tear up
And no it’s got nothing to do with when they do a closeup
It’s when I see the brides in their white dresses of style
Because it reminds me of the day my wife walked down the aisle

24 Comments

  1. Brilliantly written!

  2. It’s like Mystery Science Theater 3000 for married people. I imagined your shadows in the bottom corner of the screen telling jokes. Sounds like good ‘date night’ fun. My wife and I, may have to check that show out. Good post, and witty poetry! Well done.

    • Thanks, but seriously DON’T WATCH IT!!! It’s car crash TV. The only reason I want to sit down for it every night is because I love the way my wife comments on the show, I couldn’t watch it without her commentary.

  3. What a babe. & you are, too!

  4. I was forced to read through that whole thing to get to the amazing last paragraph. You made your point beautifully, you sweet, funny man! : )

    • Oh so it was all dribble until the final paragraph and you felt forced to read just like I feel forced to watch the show. Now I really know what you think of my writing…you have to be forced to read it 🙁

      Next poem might be about a poor innocent girl forced to read an insane man’s writing…..hmmmmm what would her fate be 😛

  5. Lol…. yikes…. did I say that?
    I think there was a compliment in there somewhere too …. : )

  6. Don’t start with me….
    you’ve been watching too much married TV.. Eeekkk….
    I am not poor or innocent … and you are not even close to insane…. although apparently tied to a chair.. hhhmmm ….

    • Car crash TV 🙂

      So I have to tie a rich guilty girl to a chair and force feed her insane mumblings of a writer who has convinced the world he’s not really insane, it’s just the words that are insane? 🙂

      Ok building a profile here 🙂

  7. Exactly!

    Now untie me, please! : )

    • I haven’t tied you up yet rich girl 😛

      Poem writing is for the evening, story writing is for the morning, even when I’m tired.

      Hmmmm given the time difference how weird would it be if I wrote such a poem this evening and at the same time you had a dream of being tied to a chair!! 🙂

  8. Lol . Watching Married at First Sight would be a nightmare, indeed, but as long as I can watch you laughing at your wife laughing, it will be a comedy for sure. : )

    • Be nice all you like it wont get you out of a poem 😛

      (actually it’s only early in the day and it’s nearly 12 hours until poem writing time so in all honesty I could find something else to write about. A story would be nice but my day is full of school runs, writing not suitable for blog writing and kids play so I’m not hopeful for a story tonight.)

  9. Whew …
    how about I just say, brilliant writing, and you say thank you.

    • Don’t be afraid even if I do write a poem I wont tell anyone it’s you, and I promise I’ll be nice. 🙂

      One of my favourite authors sells (for charity) characters in his books. Tell me what story you want to be the star of and I’ll write it (in the nicest possible way without murder and polka dot yellow bikinis.)

  10. Rugby843

    Cute story, poem, whatever. I think you’re becoming nice.

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