Daily Prompt, driving, humor, poetry, thoughts, writing

Mario Kart Round 3

bad poetry

I got told today that I have to write this
No it’s not a poem about wedded bliss
Because there is no such thing when you fart
Or when you whip their arse, at Mario Kart

Now you might think that it is mean
Or that my winning streak is obscene
Because I do continually beat Miss Eight
But basically it’s because, I am so great

Miss Eight is not the only one who seems to like losing
My wife too appears to do a lot of mid pack cruising
Don’t get me wrong it’s not that she can’t drive
But being behind does give her time to contrive

Red shells, blue shells, spiny shells, all come flying
“Wasn’t me who threw that,” I hear her crying
There with support Miss Eight is quick to admit
“It was her, I know for sure, I saw her toss it.”

If my dear wife would race, she’d gain some yardage
But she spends too much time trying to cause carnage
Bob-bom, Banana, and even a ghost name Blooper
She holds them in wait like an experienced trooper

“Wasn’t me that bombed you, was the automated racer.”
“You cop the most bombs because you’re the lead placer.”
All comments in fun, none are meant to cause headaches
The next thing I see is her speeding past as she overtakes

“So is that the way we’re going to race?” I asked with a smirk
“You really want to take me out after I did all that groundwork?”
“With my speedy mushroom I’ll pass you like you’re standing still.”
“And if that doesn’t work I’ve now got myself a black Bullet Bill.”

Trust me when I say this is all just friendly competition
To kick arse at Mario Kart all day is not my ambition
I love them both dearly and don’t mean to whoop arse
But if they keep driving so slow of course I will pass

So come race time tomorrow I’ll take on Princess Peach
But don’t blame me if I spend my time well out of reach
The poor Princess will be reeling and lagging well behind
But thanks to my good sportsmanship I wont be unkind

As well as the poor Princess I’ll battle with Yoshi
Maybe the race with Miss Eight will be run more closely
Again I’ll be nice and I’ll race without all the destruction
I’ll race fast, I’ll race clean and not cause any obstruction

So bring it on family let the kart racing begin
You can take on the champ and try hard to win
I’ll even lose a few races for you to catch up
At the end of the day we’ll see who wins the cup

5 Comments

  1. The goblin strike again…again funny and witty poem from you and your dear friendly goblin

  2. You finally admit it, you ARE a goblin. I knew it!

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