Wont someone come and mow my grass?
It really is a pain in the arse
It’s not that long and it’s not that scraggy
But mowing grass makes me feel so crappy.
It’s not like we have a massive backyard
If you mow it for me I’ll send you a nice card
It’s not that I’m slack or that I’m lazy
But mowing the grass makes my head all hazy
Hayfever sucks and blocked sinus is a bitch
I imagine it’s as bad as aerobics jock itch
It’s a feeling that hangs around and forever lingers
Something you’d rather scratch with someone else fingers.
I’m sure there’s cream that will stop you scratching
I hope there is nothing down there growing and hatching
I know you think the scratching is oh so soothing
But the bugs is your jock itch have started their brooding
They just want to dance and get your attention
Would you like a knitting needle as a finger extension?
Don’t let me stop you, don’t let me interrupt
Would it help with your scratching if you sat on the air duct?
How did we get to your itches from my lawn?
I honestly hope the bugs don’t just hang on
Applying the cream should help with the welts
I promise you this I wont tell anyone else.