So here’s a story about being caught.
Anyone who’s read this blog before knows I used to delivery bread and I was very capable, I wont say for which company or give away town names but I used to work for the one of the two biggest bakeries in this country and I used to deliver to towns in regional Victoria. I used to start at 10pm every night and finish about 10am in the morning. Depending on the run I was doing I could deliver over 5000 units of bread, white bread, toast bread, fruit toast, muffins, crumpets pancakes etc as well as cakes and biscuits (look it up America 😛 ) and could cover anything up to 600 kilometres a shift. Lots of weird shit happened out there so here’s one of those weird ones.
One small town I delivered to, only about 2000 odd people (actually that’s unfair only about 7/8 of them were odd) had several 24 hour service stations I had to drop off a few loaves of bread too. Usually not worth the effort but national contracts meant we had to stop, and I could usually swap a few day old loaves for a Hot Dog, or a meat pie.
Five nights a week the first servo I stopped at was usually manned by a twenty something female, long dark curly hair, slim, easy on the eyes and swore like a truck driver. She was good to look at and good for a chat but she wasn’t my type, one because she wore too much make up but two because she wasn’t me wife.
Usually as I was leaving the servo just after 2am the Smallgood’s (deli meats, cold cuts etc) truck would turn up. I knew the driver to talk to, knew his name but because I had other deliveries to make and my next coffee and smoke break usually happened about 2:30am I never hung around for much of a conversation.
One morning I was running late, the bakery had regular breakdowns which made us late especially when there were big specials in the supermarkets and in the hot weather, and I rocked up to the servo just after 3am. To coin a phrase, the lights were on but no body was home.
Pissed off at running late and missing my coffee break I wasn’t really paying attention and I just climbed out of the truck, retrieved the the two loaves of bread required and entered the store. Everything was normal and until I stepped up to the operators console to drop the invoice off I didn’t even notice the palace was empty. Still it happened occasionally, even staff needed the dunnies occasionally and I was running late, if I didn’t catch up time I’d miss my 4am nap.
Heading out the doors and back to my truck was the first time I noticed the Smallgoods truck parked in it’s usual spot away from the bowsers and away from the lights of the forecourt. Now I’d heard the rumours, every truck driver delivering the area had, truth be told they were probably started by the same guy who drove that truck just so he could brag. That rumour was that a particular driver of a truck that delivered meat was making an extra stop at a store he didn’t deliver to and delivering a salami that wasn’t company issue. Needless to say I believed I knew exactly where said driver and said female console operator were.
I might have been running late and in fear of missing my 4am nap but I’m also not one to let a good shit stir go begging. Obviously the noise of my truck and what I was doing wasn’t enough to interrupt the meat delivery so I grabbed a few loaves of day old bread and walked up to the Smallgoods truck.
At the door of the truck there was a noise that one doesn’t usually hear from a truck, someone sounded like they were having fun. Oh well who was I to spoil someone’s fun? Well actually I’m me, that’s who.
With my right hand I bashed dead centre on the door for maximum impact. As the clang of metal rang out I grabbed the door handle, opened the door, yelled “You bastard, that’s my girl!”, threw the two loaves of bread onto the drivers seat, slammed the door and headed back to my truck, laughing, to finish my run and have a nap.