Daily Prompt, humor, poetry, writing

The Difference Between America and Australia

bad poetry

So after yesterday’s poem, so merry
Where I picked on the American vocabulary
I decided I best make amends
And stop picking on my American friends

So I thought about an infinite list of terms
That beyond a doubt just conforms
That at times we are all bunnies
And that we can all make the funnies

On this side of the world when you put on a jumper
It’s done to stay warm and makes you feel a bit plumper
Putting on a jumper in the US of A, means you want to cheat
The poor leaping bastard before his head hits the concrete

Although not widely used by any one with splendour
Bird in this country refers to one of the female gender
Where as if your dating a bird in the good ol’ US
You’ll be done for animal cruelty and your friends will distress

In the states if you get your feet stuck in the bog
You find a marsh land full of water and maybe a log
In our wonderful country a log in the bog is just not very funny
In fact it’s quite stinky because someone did not flush the dunny

A dummy in this country is what the Yanks call a pacifier
It’s what a baby will suck, drop, spit out, but always desire
In the US of A to be caught sucking a dummy, without consent
Might see you in jail where Bubba will make you repent.

Now there is the good ones, the ones that sound a bit honky
In Australia today it’s not frowned upon, to ride someone’s donkey
If your feeling that way you can even ride their Ass without any permission
While riding and Ass in America town even if allowed, means a whole different position

To root in America means to show your support
You can do it at home or even on public transport
But if you’re female and don’t know what it means in the country of Oz
Jump on a plane, bring your teddy and I’m sure you’ll give me applause

In America to train a sports team is to coach
In Australia with two meanings we take a different approach
In our country a coach is also a bus and they are really mainstream
So if you want to ride a coach I used to lead a cricket team

Then there is a fanny which I’m led to believe
In America many women say alone you should leave
But in Australia there is a bit more to a fanny
It’s more pleasing to play with this nook and cranny

In Australia these days if you say you’re feeling a bit randy
The person you’re with might play handy with your candy
But in the states of American if your feeling a bit Randy
You should probably at least buy him some good tasting brandy

If I don’t stop this now I’ll be here all night
Or maybe even worse end up in a gunfight
So here’s to the differences down to the last letter
I just can’t help it if us Aussies are just so much better.

6 Comments

  1. I’m so glad you decided not to pick on us! lol… delightful English/Aussie language lesson. I loved it! ❤

    • Hehe Imagine what it would have been like if I didn’t like you lot 🙂

      Half way through I nearly gave up and turned it into a story because I was struggling but I’d gone too far to give it up 🙂

  2. Very interesting interesting.

  3. Since I correspond with the English dictionarian, I call him, and I know that’s not a word, I’ve learned some of your language. People in Wyoming do not know what to do in a roundabout is true. I can’t be too critical of that after turning the wrong way onto the busiest street in Denver years ago, with a car full of kids meeting their dad downtown for dinner. Surprisingly, no horn honking! I won’t argue the differences, which to me are charming and amusing. I did have an friendly argument about the difference between muffins and cakes. All fun.

    • I didn’t know they had roundabouts in the US. I remember watching Mythbusters a while ago and they tested whether lights or a roundabout is more efficient for traffic flow and their final comments where that America needs to start installing roundabouts.

      There are so many other differences that weren’t quite so funny but I didn’t have time to list them all.

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