Daily Prompt, humor, poetry, thoughts, writing

My new years resolutions

bad poetry

It’s a new year and here’s my resolutions
But only ‘cause they wont let me do executions
An axe to the head or just a lethal injection
I’m sure if they let me there would be no objection

First off there’s arseholes who think the road’s theirs
Driving like morons with their graces and airs
They treat the damn roads like they are a speedway
These impatient bastards should just get out of my way

There is also the dickhead drag racing our street
Please hit the lamp post and turn into mincemeat
It’s not skill that’s stopped you ending up on the grass
I have seen you drive by and it’s all just sheer arse

Then there’s the telesales, shits on the phone
These deadbeat bastards a mother’d disown
They ring up at dinner, they ring up at lunch
If they were standing before me, a face I would punch

What about all those trolls on the net
Twindling their fingers and raising a sweat
They defile the screen, they defile themselves
Maybe we should turn them into gazelles

There’s no discounting those who write crap
I’m sure those people have some handicap
Of course that’s not me I write pure gold
If you say any different you deserve a head cold

Lets not forget the arrogant shoppers at K-mart
It really would be great if one could just throw a fart
Toss it into a crowd where you want to be shopping
By the time you get there like flies they’d be dropping

So to start the new year I want to kill all the pricks
From all walks of life especially global politics
If you’re on the list that just can’t be helped
I wont loose any sleep if you need to be scalped


  1. Do you have a problem with gazelles?
    (note my avi).

  2. Enough of this mild mannered ness. Tell us what you really think!

  3. And a happpppyyyyy Newwww Yeeeaaarrr toooooo

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