Daily Prompt, humor, poetry, thoughts, writing

Merry F’n Christmas

I know I’m just a grouch
Maybe a bit of a slouch
But I tell you what I hate
Is the Christmas Shopping fate

Ignorant fools just walk the aisles
I’m sure some of them have piles
They just stop dead in their tracks
I wish I could hit them with an axe

They stop and stare at the frozen peas
When what they want is a block of cheese
The stop and stare at the chocolate spread
When all they came in for was white sliced bread

When you’re walking around with a shopping trolley
Christmas shopping is so melancholy
The idiots stop wherever they like
I swear it’s like they’ve gone on strike

On my trolley I want a bullbar
It might look a tad bazzar
But if anyone stops in my path
They’ll discover a bloodbath

Everyone is in such a rush
Their brains just turn to slush
They push, they shove, they cackle
I’ll take one out with a hip and shoulder tackle

Christmas shoppers these days just don’t give a shit
As long as they are first in line to buy their Christmas kit
First to get their kit, first to head for home
It must be hard to cope with irritable bowl syndrome

5 Comments

  1. Don’t be shy, tell us what you really think!

  2. Just in case you needed a laugh

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