This morning I was watching “The Talk” on TV
I know it’s trash telly, but don’t go, judging me
My wife she does choose it, she’s the TV show picker
When Old Shazza’s on fire, she does makes me snicker

Today they were talking about the stages of beauty
Women picking on women always sounds a bit snooty
But their silly waffling did have my thoughts form a queue
There’s five stages of beauty a woman goes through

Bare with me now as I get a bit sentimental
I’ll honestly try not to be too judgement
These item’s aren’t facts they are just my opinion
If you don’t like them all you don’t have to listen

The first stage of beauty a women does reach
Is the second you meet her and she’s as sweet as a peach
Love at first sight, the image burnt into your mind
From that moment on the word beauty’s redefined.

The second stage of beauty lasts for a bit less than a year
And it starts on the day she says “We’re expecting, Dear!”
She’s radiant, she stunning, she glows like a beacon
For around nine months your love does not weaken

The third stage of beauty lasts as long as it does take
At that point in time she’s as darn cute as snowflake
When the child is born and mum’s all tuckered out
However long it lasts she beautiful throughout

Stage four of beauty happens when she’s handed the child
You can see from her face she is nothing short of beguiled
Mother and baby touching for the very first time
I tell you now the sight is actually beyond sublime

The fifth stage of beauty stays with her for her life
Even if she wanted to stop, the beauty runs rife
She’s the mother of your children, life’s mainstay
Even if she doesn’t see it she’s more beautiful each day

Fortunes, riches and all the money in the world
Can’t replace the feelings of being furled
By the loving mother of your kids
Whose beauty never hits the skids.