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Emoticons

So I was outside hanging out the washing and running around with my wife’s underwear on my head scaring the birds away from the washing…shit did I just say that? No? Ok I’ll continue.

I was outside hanging out the washing and I had an epiphany. Ok maybe not an epiphany as much as a brain fart.

Ok I’ll start again. I had a brain fart and here it is.

God created emoticons and emojiis because stupid people get offended by words on a screen.

Example

“You’re an idiot!” Offensive
“You’re an idiot!” 🙂 light hearted joke

“You’re a piece of sputum floating on the scum lake of earth.” Insult
“You’re a piece of sputum floating on the scum lake of earth.” 🙂 light hearted banter waiting for a comeback

The same thing goes for a larger piece of text.

Write a poem or a story with lots of soppy and gooey words and add a few emoticons like smilies and hearts etc and you can convince people the words are heart felt. Add a few emoticons like a bloody dagger or a bomb, etc and people change their mind about the context no matter how the author wrote it. So it can be the most heart felt piece of writing in the world but a few strategically placed images and the author suddenly because a psychopath.

So emoticons again help stop some people getting offended by words on a screen but now it goes even deeper than that. Emoticons actually convince people to think they way the author wants them too, good or bad, but leave an emoticon out and make people think for themselves and suddenly the world starts falling apart.

“Oh no, there is no image to tell my brain if he is serious, what do I do? I know my brain can relate to the first part, but not the second part, but definite the third part. Damn he seriously means every word.”

Or

“Oh no there is no image to tell me that if the author means those words in the soppy love poem. They sound like the kind of thing I would write if I could, they must be serious. The author is telling us they are in love. Hang on a minute the last verse mentions a dinosaur. Oh that must be a pet name. Yep serious love poem!”

Or

“The author just wrote a long story about running through the white water of the ocean hand in hand with the person they love, the scene turns to two people kissing and cuddling by a fire, then there is a love scene, the love scene goes forever and ever and they live happily ever after.”

One person reads that and says “nice story” another person reads it and says “the author is trying to convince me that’s a real story.”

In this case an emoticon may not change either persons mind, their ideas are based on their own thoughts, if they write about personal experience their mind will tend to lean in that direction when thinking about others writing. There is nothing wrong with such thinking but getting upset by it and letting it consume ones thoughts to the point of being convinced everything another author writes has to be personal, real life, or worse based on you is dangerous and unproductive to an author.

Again this is a twisted outlook that many wont follow, and I like that, but it doesn’t make it less true from my perspective. An author writes a post, it’s purely fictitious, or is it? Real life bleeds into our minds are we type, sure the story may be based around a fictitious person but the facial expressions and mannerisms etc came from the authors head from expressions and mannerisms they themselves have used. Does it make the story any less fictitious? Not really.

Summary?

Use emoticons and emjoiis at your own risk, if you want to create chaos and anarchy in the world make people think for themselves by using nothing. They wont thank you, but they may reward you with a few comments about how wrong you are for thinking the way they think you think.

So if there you go one strange author’s brain fart, based on his own thoughts whether they are shared by others or not.

In the words of Suicidal Tendencies

Don’t take it wrong, see we ain’t trying to tell you how to think, we’re just trying to get you to think.
And we ain’t trying to control nobody, we want the people (individually speaking) to be in control, to know who they are and what they want to be.
Yea, and question authority, what the fuck but not for sake of argument, but because you took the time to analyze it and you found a better fuck’n way, not just a fuck’n excuse to complain.
And beware of people who try to use you as statistic to back their claims of power, that use you simply as a vehicle to get themselves where they want to, with no reference to your best interest except for their disclaimer that their best interest is your best interest.
And remember… cool is only 3 letters away from fool!

I wonder if this little story fits the bill for “
Mind the Gap” There is obviously a large gap between my way of thinking and others 🙂

10 Comments

  1. OMG!! YES!! I cannot like this enough 😀 Even the brain fart!

    I’m so guilty of this too, btw. The part where I change the ends of stuff to make it funny when I should just go all out. Maybe fear of sexuality- who knows.

    Love the honesty and transparency! Let it all hang out…even the underwear!

    • Thanks 🙂 I’ve always been the person who didn’t use emoticons and smileys, not so much because I wanted to offend but because I was lazy. With some people it’s easy to see they want to be offended so playing their game does become deliberate at times.

  2. Ok, I use the emoticons because I am lazy! And sometimes you don’t know exactly what to say, or ten people already said it. (On WP). You can only say beautiful photo or lovely poem so many times till it seems insincere. That’s just my take on it. And if your comment section allowed it, I’d fill the box with them just to give you a hard time. : p. ; )

    • It’s not like I don’t use them but I still think people are too reliant on them to tell them what to think. It’s kind of like WP tags (although I’m convinced people ignore those) If you tag something with fiction today but then forget to use the fiction tag tomorrow some people (those who don’t just read stuff and think it’s non fiction) think different of the second post.
      We are told what to think and too few people question that with their own thought and it’s for many reasons but for some it’s because they are incapable of being independent thought.

      • I had to laugh at this. Since I mostly use copy and paste it doesn’t let me use tags. So everything I write is tagged bladder cancer!! I’ve tried to remedy this a few times, and ended up deleting my hard work. So just let it go. I try to change some things, no luck. So doubt I get many people following because of tags. Maybe I should try dolt as a tag…..wonder what followers I’d get then? ( no smiley inserted)

        • Tags for WP hosted sites work to group your posts in the reader (not so well for self hosted cause WP sucks) and that’s probably their main purpose but when someone specifically tags something fiction and another person wants to read the post as non-ficiton it’s not far short of telling the author they are a liar.

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