Monday June 1.

Damn it’s cold out there.
Who keeps ordering winter every year?
Even the poor old truck is struggling in this weather.
Poor old girl doesn’t really want to make it up this hill.
C’mon girl you can do it.
Keep going, nearly at the top
Only about 150 metres to go now girl
C’mon just around the corner up here and we are at the intersection
ZZZZZzzzzzzz

CRUNCH! CRASH!
WHAT THE FUCK!
BANG! CRASH! THUMP!

OUCH!
Oh geez what the hell was that.
Why am I stopped?
Oh crap I’m not on the road.
Holy shit I’m in the park
What happened?
Oh shit I fell asleep.
So where am I?

*The Midnight Cowboy checks his mirrors, checks the surrounds. It’s dark but he can make out some details. He parked up against two trees, a gum tree on the left and a big bushed unidentifiable thing on the right which is now limbless on one side. He’s about 50 metres from the road and he’s awake. Thankfully no one else is around.*

So apparently falling asleep just before that last turn into town isn’t a great idea.
Wow whoddathunkit!
Oh well no blood no foul, no witnesses no damage. Off we go!

kids fort

Saturday 31 May

Damn I wish they’d move the security light back so I didn’t have to waste time dragging the bread rack out of the shed and into the light.
Crash
Oops did I drop the bread crates on the ground and make a bit of noise that could wake up the store owner?
Nah that doesn’t sound like me.
Ok roller door open grab rack shift it out, stack it and rack off.
What’s that sitting on the top of the bread rack?
Ah stupid cat sitting in the dark.
Hang on a second, no it isn’t.
It’s a bloody rat!
Damn that’s bigger than Garfield
Guess I know why the owner here has been bitching about bread being eaten by something.
Oh well no need to panic, it’s not my problem.

Garfield

Garfield

Saturday 1 June

Shit I hate driving through this place on a Saturday morning.
There is definitely something wrong with the idiots in this town.
Most of the time residents in small towns actually respect the place they live in.
Not here, these morons get smashed at the pub and destroy their town.
Not just silly shit like pushing shopping trolleys around or throwing a few bottles.
Noooo these dickhead’s throw bins around, smash windows, ringbark trees and spray paint everything.
Probably going to end up having to kick at least one of the pricks out of the truck up here at Mobil because they can’t hold their booze enough to realise that climbing inside the back of a truck is not a good idea.

Well that was a success, delivery made and no doofus trying to get inside the truck.
Oh shit looks like I spoke too soon, what’s this idiot doing?
Holy shit! Lucky I take off slowly in this thing.
“What are you doing dipshit?”
“Get out of the way!”
“What?”
“You actually think that you can stop a truck by standing in front of it?”
“Come on Superman I really do believe you, now just get out of the way in case you dent my truck.”

Superman

Superman