I Touch Myself

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Story started here

Steph wasn’t sure how she felt about Mark’s statement before leaving for work. There was no doubting that the cuddle felt nice, felt better than nice, so why didn’t she tell him that?

She really did want him home, but every time the topic came up her mind wouldn’t allow her to get as close as her head and heart wanted.

Was her brain putting up barriers whenever he was home for a reason? Whenever they talked, whenever they did get close things felt so right but as soon as she knew he had to leave, whether it was leave for work or even leave the bloody room her brain kicked in and made her do something stupid. It was almost as if her brain was daring her to jump, daring her to walk out that door and not come back.

hr2

Steph rolled over and put her arm on the empty side of the bed.

I love myself, I want you to love me
When I feel down, I want you above me
I search myself, I want you to find me
I forget myself, I want you to remind me

So why the hell is my brain saying otherwise if we spend more than ten minutes next to each other?
The thing is whenever I’m down and he can be there he is. Too often I don’t tell him I’m down and then get shitty for him not noticing. Why?

He might not always be right beside me, and god knows I don’t want him there all the time, but he is always there, always supporting me. How is it my brain keeps making such an issue of all the small things?

hr2

I don’t want anybody else
When I think about you, I touch myself
Ooh, I don’t want anybody else
Oh no, oh no, oh no

Well it wouldn’t be the first time that’s for sure.

hr2

You’re the one who makes me come runnin’
You’re the sun who makes me shine
When you’re around, I’m always laughin’
I want to make you mine

If only I could admit all that out aloud. I once did, in fact once upon time I’d admit it out aloud to anyone who would listen. Why can’t I do it now?

hr2

I close my eyes and see you before me
Think I would die if you were to ignore me
A fool could see just how much I adore you
I’d get down on my knees, I’d do anything for you

If a fool can see it then why wont my foolish brain let me admit it?

hr2

I don’t want anybody else
When I think about you, I touch myself
Ooh, I don’t want anybody else
Oh no, oh no, oh no

I love myself, I want you to love me
When I feel down, I want you above me
I search myself, I want you to find me
I forget myself, I want you to remind me

I don’t want anybody else
When I think about you, I touch myself
Ooh, I don’t want anybody else
Oh no, oh no, oh no

I want you
I don’t want anybody else
When I think about you, I touch myself
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ah ah ah ah oh ah

I don’t want anybody else
When I think about you, I touch myself
Ooh, I don’t want anybody else
When I think about you, I touch myself

Well brain if you wont give me the answers I want I’m tuning out for the night.
If you’re going to keep throwing up barriers, barriers my head and heart seem to argue with I’m going to have to find a way to ignore you.

hr2

I touch myself
I touch myself
I touch myself
I touch myself
I touch myself
I touch myself
I touch myself
I touch myself
I honestly do

I touch myself
I touch myself
I touch myself
I touch myself
I honestly do

I touch myself
I touch myself

Well, it’s not the same but I guess I can do that.