Daily Prompt, events, Stories, writing

The Twinkle

twinkle

twinkle

Twinkle

Twinkle in one’s father’s eye: A notional look of anticipation or hope in one’s father’s eyes at or around the time of one’s conception.

Not that I saw it and I don’t remember exactly how long it lasted for but I remember this happening twice for me.

When our first daughter was first discussed and conceived apparently the twinkle was often bright, I was reminded of it on quite a few occasions. Perhaps it was because people were happy or perhaps it was because up until that time I’d always been adamant I wouldn’t have kids. However several years after my wife and I were married it was decided. Not only would we become parents but I would become work from home dad while my wife continued her job.

What I don’t think most people realised was that the twinkle in my eyes was not just anticipation, hope and excitement it was also bloody fear!! How the hell was I going to look after a kid, sure I wasn’t alone and even with dear wife at work I had support from family but there was a bundle of joy that I was going to be responsible for. Still eight years later that little bundle of joy is an 8 year old bundle of joy (most of the time).

The second time it happened was a huge surprise for me. I’d been thinking about the possibility of adding to the family for a few months before my wife lost her job. I hadn’t spoken to anyone about it it was just a thought fluttering around my head which I was entertaining. However when dear wife lost her job I put the thought at the back of my head due to less money coming in and other such factors. To my surprise after a trip west to see the in-laws my wife announced she was pregnant. Not long after that we announced to the world we were excepting number two.

Again people told me there was a twinkle in my eye. The biggest problem the second time around was that while the joy, the happiness, the anticipation and the excitement were all exponentially increased so was the fear. Second time around however the fear was money related, I knew I could look after a child, I’d done it before, I’d even done it reasonably well some said. But the fear of a lack of money and working harder for every cent rather than only having to work for every second controlled way too much.

Now here we are eight years after that first twinkle and I don’t care that the above definition states ‘at or around the time of conception’ I still have a twinkle in my eye every time one of those kids walks in the room. The difference now is I KNOW the twinkle is there, I don’t have to be told about it.

Side note: Both girls started out as a twinkle in my eye. Before they were announced to the waiting world they got their own email addresses which were sparky@ and sparky2@ which they used to announce their arrivals. Now the twinkle is still in my eyes and the email addresses still exist but the sparks only seem to happen when someone is grumpy. 🙂

2 Comments

  1. All those fears totally justified. Very exciting, wonderful and scary.

    • lostpropertyrepository

      It’s been a hell of a ride that’s for sure, sometimes I wish it was less bumpy but I suppose that’s what makes the ride worth taking.

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