I am a dad and therefore my Jokes these days are put in two categories
Dad’s Jokes: those not fit for vocalising in too many places other than the man cave.
Dad Jokes: the jokes I use to make kids cringe, laugh, tell me how silly I am and cry all at the same time.
Although my eight year old is beginning to understand how dad jokes work my four year doesn’t realise she’s suppose to cringe and go “awe dad!” every time I say a joke. I can’t wait for the time where both kids are embarrassed by jokes like.
A panda walks into a bar and says to the bartender “I’ll have a Scotch and . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Coke thank you”.
“Sure thing” the bartender replies and asks “but what’s with the big pause?”
The panda holds up his hands and says “I was born with them”
Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? The food is great, but there’s just no atmosphere.
If you’re struggling to think of what to get someone for Christmas. Get them a fridge and watch their face light up when they open it.
I dreamed about drowning in an ocean made out of orange soda last night. It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea.
I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
Last night tour mum and I watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the TV
“Doctor, I’ve broken my arm in several places” Doctor “Well don’t go to those places.”
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The p is silent.
What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud.