Crisis Big Bear episode 4

The continuing story of the Bear who keeps me sane.
Read Part 1 here
Read Part 2 here
Read Part 3 here

“I suppose a normal person might struggle with their sanity if they came home to find their wife had thrown several clocks through the wall under the guise of making her writing factual.” I said to Big Bear the plush white polar bear.

“But not you, hey?” Big Bear responded.

“Well I suppose give my last crisis with writer’s block I probably need to give her some leeway.”

“Even if that leeway means you’ll spend the weekend patching holes and painting the wall?”

“Bah, guess I don’t have much choice.” I stated before continuing. “Considering the last time I had writer’s block, I can’t really judge Jen.”

“You didn’t put holes in the wall.”

“No but poor Lisa will never be the same again.”

We both laughed as we remembered back to my last episode of writer’s block.

I been struggling for several hours with a torture scene for the new book and despite researching the method on line I just couldn’t get a decent feel for how the scene would play out. Big Bear witnessed my unfolding crisis and stepped in to ask if I needed any help. At first the typical author in my head said no because he thought he could work things out by himself but eventually even that evil sucker got forced out and Big Bear was invited in.

“Why not act the scene out?” Big Bear offered.

“Well for starters I haven’t got a crucifix.”

“No but with the aid of the engine frame in the shed we can set something up I’m sure.”

With some consideration about how I could achieve such a thing I agreed with Big Bear and off we went to set up a scene to help me write the book.

Enlisting the help of Tickles, Golly and Snowflake I was suspended from the A frame engine lift that was in the shed. My arms were out stretched to my sides and the block and tackle was adjusted to leave me several centimetres off the floor.

After a few seconds of suspension I said. “Ok I need something heavy to tie to my feet to make this more authentic.”

“How about the spare tyre over there.” Tickles suggested.

After figuring out a method of attaching the tyre to my feet and lifting me off the ground so that I was suspended from the make shift crucifix whilst also having the weight of a tyre suspended from my feet, I was starting to get a good idea on how the book scene would play out.

It was at that moment that Lisa walked into the garage looking for Jen who she couldn’t find in the house. She didn’t even get a single word out of her moth before she looked at me suspended in the middle of the garage and our four boofhead sanity keepers sitting unmoving on the couch against the wall seemingly staring directly at me. After Lisa ran out without saying a word we didn’t see her again for three days, nearly a record.

Now days we can have a little bit of a laugh about the situation and how well Tickles, Golly, Snowflake and Big Bear managed to remain dead still until Lisa was out of sight but strangely enough the topic has never come up with Lisa.