“What do you mean you were punished?” I asked Big Bear the plush white polar bear with the green hat, green scarf and 2005 tattoo on his foot, who has been tasked with the job of keeping me sane.
“Jen shunted me aside last night when she rolled over in her sleep.”
“That doesn’t sound like punishment. Maybe she was just trying to get closer to us because she wanted a warm hug and in her sleep she misjudged the distance. Dammit, that’s my punishment not yours. I should have been awake to slip in for a cuddle and I wasn’t.
“Pfft, as if anyone would want to cuddle you instead of me!” replied Big Bear with a smug look on his face.
“As much as you give great bear hugs it’s hard to compare one of those to a warm Jen hug, even if she is asleep and not always aware just how cold her hands are.”
“Yeah the two of you are so cute, but this is about me remember!”
“Well she was asleep it’s unlikely she shoved you deliberately, she’s not that kind of person.”
“Of course she’s not and had that been all it was I wouldn’t have made the comment but there is more.”
“Ok so enlighten me young bear, what makes you think a little duck shove in the middle of the night was so malicious and part of a bigger plan of punishment?”
Sitting between his three other best mates, Tickles the Tiger, Golly and Snowflake the smaller polar bear, Big Bear didn’t even hesitate as he continued his story of punishment.
“Well for starters, I heard you tell her what I said about Lisa yesterday.”
“Yeah but lets face it as much as Jen loves Lisa she knows it was only a joke, she even laughed about it.” I said defending Jen.
“There is also the fact that I stood in front of the TV remote last night when she was trying to change the channel because I wanted to keep watching the cute weather girl.”
“And there’s the clincher,” I said jokingly. “No doubt she’s got a deep seated grudge against you because you like looking at the TV weather girl.”
“I haven’t finished yet.” Big Bear said forcefully.
“My apologies, please continue.” I responded sarcastically.
“Although everything has adds up the key reason for her wanting to punish me during the night occurred about midnight last night.”
I immediately let my mind wander back to the previous night where Jen and I sat in the lounge room. The TV was on as background noise and the clickity clack sound of keystokes filled the room as we both typed furiously adding to the novel we were writing together. Although the novel was important we were also waiting for the WordPress Daily Prompt to change.
It was then I remembered what had happened.
“Aaahh I see it’s coming back to you.” Big Bear said as if he saw a light bulb coming on over my head.
Hitting a go slow point of the novel ten minutes before the Daily Prompt was due we waited patiently by checking our respective blogs, approving comments and comparing the number of likes, (like any normal married couple does!). Then at 10pm the prompt changed and we both went at it furiously typing new short stories.
By 10:30pm we’d both finished typing, posted our responses, read each others posts and were enjoying a bit of friendly banter about the direction each of had gone. By 11pm the friendly competition of comparing likes and views had begun but being a slow night, or maybe two stories that weren’t up to scratch there was only three views in total to compare.
By 11:15pm, the figures hadn’t changed.
By 11:20pm, the figures still hadn’t changed.
By 11:30pm, Jen had gotten one more view but neither of us had any likes.
By 11:40pm, I’d fallen right behind and it was one view to me and four to Jen, but still no likes
By 11:45pm, it was still one to four.
By 11:50pm, it was still one to four.
By 11:52pm, it was still one to four.
By 11:53pm, it was two to four.
By 11:54pm, it was still two to four.
By 11:55pm, it was two to five.
By 11:57pm, it was three to five and still no likes.
By 11:58pm, it was still three to five.
By 11:59pm it was still three to five.
At the stroke of midnight Big Bear and the other three boofheads had obviously had enough of our constant page refreshing and running commentary of the worlds most entertaining competition and he spoke up.
“Will you two shut the bloody hell up!” he cried.
We both turned to each other, turned to the bear, turned back to each other and shook our heads.
“What’s up with you?” I said.
“For the last hour and a half the two of you have been obsessing with likes, comments and views on those bloody blogs. There has been little other conversation between you, you’ve left the TV on that stupid talk show no one likes and you haven’t even noticed that it’s midnight we haven’t had our midnight snack.”
Realising just how right the bear was we both looked at each other and smiled. Then Jen spoke up.
“So what, that’s no different to any other night. It’s what all sane people spend Saturday night doing. I don’t see why you’re so upset about it now.”
It was at that time that both Big Bear and Snowflake, the cute bear entrusted with keeping Jen sane began whispering to each other. Several minutes later our laptops were taken from us and we were herded to bed like cattle up a loading ramp. It was several hours after that when Big Bear received his punishment.
Coming out of my own memory I heard Big Bear’s voice.
“Ahh I see Mr Memory Recall has paid you a visit. Now can you see why Jen duck shoving me in the middle of the night was punishment and not just an unconscious movement?”
I had to concede in part with the voice of sanity, not only did I miss out on a cuddle but Jen may just have unknowingly shoved Big Bear with some sort of intent.
“So what do you plan on doing about it?” I asked.
“Snowflake has that under control.”
“Sounds like another serial fiction story to me.” I replied as Jen woke up, rolled over and moved in for morning cuddle with myself and our voices of sanity.